Friday, June 15, 2007

The same boat

Blogging today has been an adventure. I wrote a post, three times, and either erased or deleted it each time, because it just didn't come out the way I wanted it to. It was about being the adult children of aging parents. And that is a very hard topic to really put out there. Suffice it to say, I know my parents are getting older, and while I am no longer of that magic age where I thought they would live forever, it disturbs me. It disturbs me that the little, skinny grey haired man is my father. It can't be, I think. My dad is the one with the black hair, and wicked sense of humor, and dancing, up to no good eyes who is chasing everyone around the yard with a water balloon. But, now, he is the grey haired man, still with the wicked sense of humor. And the up to no good eyes. He can still chase me around with a water balloon, but its a much shorter chase, and hasn't happened in a long time.
And my Mom. At first glance, she looks really good. No one would guess her age. But I know her well. Those hands, that sport the acrylic nails, and pretty rings. They are showing the age spots, and arthritic changes. She could never open jar's very well, but now? Its impossible for her. And everyone has begun to tell her recently that she looks like her mother, my grandmother. . .(that does NOT go over well, trust me.). Before we went on vacation, I was not worried at all about her stamina, and how well she'd keep up. She's always been a never ending fountain of energy, never seeming to wear out. While we were on vacation, she wore out. A lot. More than I liked. The never ending well finally ran out. And I'll admit. I was shocked.
I know, I know. All of us are in this same boat. Two of my friends are doing the cancer dance with their mothers right now. I remember it well, from when I did it with my Dad. And Celtic Rose and I have had many a conversation about her Mum and Da. Her Da has been a patient in our hospital far too many times, and she admits to feeling a shock each and every time she realizes her Mum is going to be 70 this year.
So, we are all the adult children of aging parents. It doesn't mean they are going anywhere, anytime soon. For me, what this means, is that I watch a little bit closer, hug them a little tighter, and hope that, no matter how many days left, 2 days, or 20 years, that they LIVE. And I hope the same for myself, for that matter.


CamiKaos said...

a week ago Mr. Kaos' father turned 69.

69 years old.

Next year he will be 70.

Though you would never know it to look at him.

Mimi said...

It is an odd thing to see our parents age (especially since *I* don't age, you know?)

sybil law said...

Not only is it weird and sometimes unsettling to watch them age, but it's also annoying to me to watch them spoil the shit out of Gilda and let her get away with any little thing her heart desires! Because they SO wouldn't have let me get away with all of that stuff, years ago... Jerks. :)

india said...

just randomly going from worldwide blog to blog... and there was someone roundabout my age many miles away, echoing my story dapper dad , almost 70 , more energy than me despite 3 cancers, having recenlty learnt to cook!! to look after my bubbly mum while she recovers from breast cancer. and ive been thinking how these huge loving reference points in my life may not always be there to refer to. somehow your blog made me feel far more connected to the circle of life rather than feeling i may be a part of some breaking circle....may we enjoy lfe as much as we can rather than fret too much over it!