Monday, June 11, 2007

dumb, or dumber?

Last night, at work, my dear friend Kali was there with me. It was pretty nice, except she had to admit the patient from hell. (poor Kali).
We were having this conversation about life, dating, men, the usual stuff. Just chattering as we were working. (We really were.) She made a very interesting comment that got me thinking, considering, mulling. Its been festering in my brain, as we speak.
As females, do we "dumb down" our intellect when we percieve a man we fancy can't keep up with us?
I think it's entirely possible. I think, that in those "glory days", long ago, it was so important for a woman to be married that if she had to dumb down, she certainly did.
I am not saying every woman who is married dumbed down. Please don't interpret this that way.
I'm just saying. I think many did. And perhaps, subconciously, they taught their daughters that, too. Who may have in turn taught their daughters.
Maybe, thats my problem. I refuse to dumb myself down. I just can't.I'm not saying I'm the smartest girl out in the parts. But I'm not stupid. And I have met a few men who don't have the brain cells I do. I even dated them. And when I think about those men, I remember the snide comments, or dumbfounded looks on their faces when I used words they did't understand. (and friends, they weren't difficult words, or medical terminology.).
I also had the memorable experience of dating a man who THOUGHT he was everyone's intellectual superior (but really was far from it.). He would challenge people with his wrong ideas all the time. Just ask Celtic Rose. I believe, to this day, if she ever sees him again he won't survive the viewing.
Anyhow. Women, dumbing down for men. Does that really still happen? Has it ever really happened? Another good question, for the sparse male readers of my very strange blog. Do men dumb down for women? I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this one.


CamiKaos said...

I think the bigger question isn't just of dumbing it down, but of pretending to be something you aren't, whatever it is. Be it smart, stupid, sporty, musical, girly, giggly, subdued or cool.

People do it.

I would have never done that to gain a partner, but I know I did it once or twice in my youth to ensure a fun evening with a guy I was already out with...

sybil law said...

Yeah, I do not nor have I ever pretended to be stupid. I am way too honest for that. I remember once, thinking this guy in a bar was sooo hot. And he was. Turned out he knew the guys we were talking to, and after staring at me for a while, he came over and started talking to me. I turned to my friend Jade and said, "Oh my GOD he was so hot until he opened his mouth!". That was the end of him. Dumb guys give me the willies. So do stupid girls.

kaliulka said...

Cami and Sybil have strong opinions about surprise there. Mea culpa!--I vividly remember being 18 and dumbing-down for boys---in 1973 I thought it was my duty! Amazing! My personal favorite story is as follows: after my divorce I dated again. It was during the time of the Bosnian conflict. I started a political conversation with an otherwise normal looking fellow who retorted, "Where the f*** is that Bon-zia place anyway?" Thinking like a teacher (which I used to be), I explained with a straight face, "In what we called the former Yugoslavia." He looked exasterated with my aparent stupidity, rolled his eyes and said, "Welllll, where the f*** is that?" I gave up.

2nd favorite dumb and dumber story: a man actually asked me with a very serious look on his face: "What do you think the world would be like if KFC wouldn't have been shot in 1963?" At first I thought: "Gee, I thought Colonel Sanders was still living cuz I just saw him in a comercial on TV." With a horrified look (I couldn't cover up my feelings on this one) I said: "Do you mean JFK?" He said: "Yea, yea, that's the one I mean."

Goddess help us...Most Saturday nights I'll opt out and take Chinese food and my cats and a good movie...

Mimi said...

I don't think I tend to do that.