Friday, April 6, 2007

Blueberry Morning

In response to all the freak out over the poisoned cat and dog food, I have decided my cats are going to get nothing for the next month except Blueberry Morning breakfast cerial. Oh, and water. We all know milk is not so good for cats digestion.
This was brought on by my mother casually commenting to me that she'd heard THREE days ago that the brand of dry cat food I feed them is contaminated. Um, Mom? Ever heard of the phone? We talk pretty frequently. My father, in the background, with his usual twisted humor is saying "she has too many cats, anyhow." I have three. (And the fat black one doesn't even really count, because she just lays around like she owns the place until the young black one chases her through the house. I think he has decided she needs exercise). My dad loves animals, and I know he is just kidding, so in that same vein, I told him I would never bake cookies for him again if that happened, and he mentioned he just might have to take me out of his will. A good time was had by all. I am still baking cookies, and still in his will, as far as I know.
Anyhow, after an exhaustive internet search aided by a nice glass of wine, I discovered that my brand of dry cat food is not on the ever growing list, (yet). I will not be one of those people making my own pet food, either. I plan on buying some organic dry food very soon here. They can ride out this crises on that.
Oh, and that plastic bitch Ashlee Simpson? Also doing a project with Keane, AND John Legend. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo.


Bubblewench said...

First - someone need to take out Ashlee Simpson, and I mean Soprano style.

Second - Did you see the stupid lady that TASTE TESTED all her dogs food and ended up in the hospital? Thankfully, her little dog, who ened up with kidney failure, had emergency surgery and survived.

Ok - don't know about you - but I don't plan on putting any friskies in my mouth anytime soon.

mielikki said...

I'm with you on the offing of Ashlee. Maybe there is someone "connected" who likes The Cure, too. Or I could start the rumor she is going to sing a Sinatra song. .

And there is no way in hell I will be putting dog or cat food in my mouth. Thats just sick and wrong. I am glad the dog lived.

mielikki said...

I have it! Lets tie Ashlee down, and force feed her the tainted dog food! Masterful plan, no?

sybil law said...

I would like to smack the shit out of Aslee Simpson (nice spelling, Ashleeeeee) and break her new nose into her old nose. Damn would that piss her off!
My friend calls me the "crazy cat lady" - I guess it's true. I really only have 2 cats, but we have adopted a stray "mommy cat" who keeps popping out babies. She just had kittens. This is a feral cat that I MADE love me, over years. Still - I could not pick this bitch up and put her in a cage. She would rip me to shreds.
I forget my point. I am buzzed. Haha

mielikki said...

nothing wrong with a good buzz, and I am known as a 'crazy cat lady', too. Onward with the evil plot to kill Ashleeeeeeee