Friday, September 14, 2007

On the joke wall at work today

New words we should all try to use, these are from the Washington Post

1. Bozone (n) the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreplay (v) any misrepresentation about yourself for the express purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n) the act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray painted very, very high.

And now for some real workds with alternate meanings

1. Coffee. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted. Appaled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly. impotent
6. Negligent. describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle. Olive flavored mouth wash.
9. Flatulence. Emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude. The formal, dignified bearing adoped by proctologists.
13. Pokemon. A rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms
15.Frisbeetarianism. The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Though, truthfully, aren't most men 'circumvented' by now?

Have a good day all of you, I am going to be sleeping today so that I can work tonight!


Bubblewench said...

ok. too funny. CK - here's your words for Sunday!

CamiKaos said...

"4. Esplanade. To attempt an explanation while drunk."

Thats mah FAVORITE

sybil law said...

No wonder Pokemon makes me feel icky and funky DOWN THERE. Hahahaha

Mimi said...

Bwhhahahahahahahaha! I love it.

Celtic Rose said...

She didn't tell you where these are posted at work did she . . . snicker,