Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Queen Meme Tuesday

The following statements are true. Your job is to explain why you think they are true. Just offer up your usual amusing quips! I'm betting we'll have some hysterical responses. Remember that somewhere somebody in the world needs to know these things and your tax dollars probably paid for the research that went into proving them true.

1. More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes. Its the teeth, I just know it is. When a donkey smiles at you, you know it means business. I've seen someone drop dead just from a donkey smile alone. (though, admittedly, the donkey breath didn't help). If you get past the ever feared donkey smile, then, well, they bite. And the bite is always lethal. I'd MUCH rather get on an airplane then go face to face with a donkey. Unless it's donkey basketball. Then, they're harmless. Those donkey's do love their basketball.

2. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants. You are going to laugh and make fun of me, but I know the actual answer to this one. What happened is, they made a Donald Duck book of the epic Finnish poem, the Kalevala. This poem is revered by the Finns, it is a backbone of their history, and for years was passed down orally. Then, someone (Elias Lonrot, if you're curious) wrote the Kalevala down, finally, preserving it for generations to come. Having a pant-less Donald was an insult. Not to be born. YES, I am of Finnish descent. YES, I have a copy of Kalevala on my bookshelf. :)

3. If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white. Because goldfish are actually from New Jersey, and that orange is their spray tan. Without sun, and interaction, it fades. Just like their accent.

4. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes. Why were they fighting in the first place?

They were fighting over who got Donald Ducks pants.

5. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. Its because we think faster.

6. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
Because all the alcohol the ant drinks goes directly into the right legs. The left legs are for picnic fare.

7. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Because the only thing an Ostrich really thinks about is how quickly it can shove its head down under the dirt, so it can't be seen.

8. In England, the Speaker of The House is not allowed to speak. This originated because in the very first house, there was a man who just droned on, and on and on and on.... his fellow housemates got together and brainstormed a way to shut him up. They decided that they would make it look like an honour (extra u provided because this is an English topic), but they could not think of a better title then "Speaker of the House". So, they bestowed it upon him, then forbade him to speak. The tradition carries on to this day, and the Speaker of the House is always the most annoying house member.

9. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand. Duh, its QUICK sand. By doing anything slowly you won't sink into it.

10. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily. Because we aren't micro-chipping yet. But its coming, I know it is...

12. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. Its the only way they could think of to keep their patients in the chair. Plus, the shock helped to treat the mental disorders of the people who would actually seek out dental care during that era...

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Finding Pam said...

I cracked up at your answers.
#3 and 8 got me laughing so hard.
Your are so funny.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You're a real mine of information. A great Donald answer!

Durward Discussion said...

Loved the Donald story. The others were fun, but that one was useful.

Melissa Lynn Shell said...

Thank you for the Donald Duck answer. I have been wondering all day what the real answer was.

Mouse said...

Great answers, though now I've got Lance's Donkey with his teeth wide grinning in my head ... *shudder*