Tuesday, May 13, 2008

delicate flowers

Remember, ladies, back in about 6th grade, when, for one special afternoon we were separated from the boys, and we got to see that magic video?
You remember the one.
The one that explained menstruation to us. With the happy girl, oh so proud, and all her friends She'd mailed away for the "starter kit" and everything?
Boy, have things changed.
They now get to see movies entitled "Sex has a price tag".
I kid you not. Google it. I dare ya.
You can purchase the "faith based version" or the "public school version"
they have teachers who tell them about Abortions gone wrong that end up in colostomy bag hell.
and they watch all this with their male counterparts sitting right next to them.

I am all for education, but how about some balance, here?
poor MG got me shocked and speechy at dinner last night in my wide eyed frustration. I may have babbled. I probably babbled.
Despite anyones beliefs, shouldn't both sides of these very controversial coins be explored?
Do all abortions go wrong? No.
Is there really a 'price tag' on sex?
What about safe sex?
because we all know that kids don't stay innocent forever, as much as we wish they would.
In the interest of that, I wish that they would not get such a lopsided education.
But I guess that is what home is for, huh? To help even it out?
Even if we kind of babble while doing so....


Anonymous said...

Here's the thing. Most kids already know the mechanics of sex which is a travesty. What's left to inject into the subject matter is the parental values and beliefs. Honestly, the school shouldn't be teaching anything outside of mechanics. No emotional or psychological stuff. That should be the parent's job. No ads for planned parenthood etc. It's all, this happens at this time, don't be surprised if you experience this, and tab a fits in slot b. You can get pregnant at any time, teen pregnancy rates are xxx% in this state.

What my kid hears from me is:

- Our religious beliefs don't support sex before marriage. It's called "fornication" and no matter what adjective you stick in front of "sex" it's still sex, anal sex, oral sex, manual sex, whatever, it's sex. As such you have committed your life to the teachings of Christ and there is forgiveness, but since you now know it's a sin, don't.

- Sex shouldn't be part of what you are doing because you need to learn how to have a relationship first. Learn how to communicate and work out conflicts. Find out about people and their families. Sex will work itself out. All you need to know is that any idiot can have sex. Very few people can have a successful relationship.

- You can get pregnant or get her pregnant. Call the doctor's office and find out the cash price of having a baby. Then tell me what job you are going to get at 14/15/16 to pay that off. And when are you going to have the time to work and go to school?

- If you do get pregnant, there will be no questions about what will happen with the baby. It will be put up for adoption. There are plenty of people out there who would love to have a baby and frankly if I can't trust you to keep it in your pants, I can't trust you with a human life.

- The boy who knocked you up has about 3 hours to live. I suggest you tell him to get right with Jesus as they will be having a meeting soon.


Daryl said...

I can understand babbling when confronted with inane and largely misleading and false information imparted in school where kids actually believe what they are told is indeed factual.

You have an advantage on two fronts: 1. you and MG have a good relationship 2. you are a nurse and therefore your facts will be seen as more factual.

Babbling is not blathering ... being effusive in your explanation is understandable and I am sure while MG was likely surprised by your reaction I dont think she took your any less seriously.

Besides if you hadnt been shocked and speechy .. I would be surprised. Look how speechy this post got me... and you know I am so not a babbler or verbose .. bwahaaaaaaa


CamiKaos said...

When confronted with it over the dinner table of course you're going to babble a bit.

Nothing wrong with that, you're human and she knows that.

What is important is that you give her good information. I am supportive of

CamiKaos said...

sorry about getting cut off, accidentally bumped my track pad.

As I was saying while I am supportive of kids remaining abstinent (oh boy am I supportive of it) the fact is that they don't. teens have sex... whatever kind of sex it is they have it... They need to know the facts about it and not just have people trying to scare them straight.

We can not rely on schools to teach our children what we want them to know about sex. Between the outdated materials and idiotic methods and the fact that they're in a room full of other hormonal kids that are embarrassed and mocking or giggling... they aren't always going to get the info they need.

Answer her questions even if it has you red in the face. Teach her the hard facts and the emotions behind them.


mielikki said...

I wasn't red in the face. Though she was when I finished. I did answer her questions, and explain to her our stance on premarital sex, and we talked about the ramifications for the boys, AND the girls who are engaged in such. It was just so irritating to me, how callus her teacher seemed to be, and how he really misrepresented the facts. We discussed it until she changed the subject, my cue that she was done with the topic, for now....

holly said...

i think the most important thing is that you are able to have this dialogue with her. she is heading into an area that she can either walk alone or walk with guidance.

i didn't have this problem cuz i was a REEEEALLLLY ugly kid. more effective than a condom.

queen of hearts? gorgeous. i gots some talking to do...

Anonymous said...

that sounds like a traumatic thing to watch, especially if you're a young girl.

University Place flowers

sybil law said...

I still HAVE the book we were given in 4th grade! For realz. It is fucking hilarious!!!
She'll be okay. She has you and MM. That is way more important than whatever she learns in school, anyway.

Lori said...

I agree that it's SO important to be willing to talk about it. My mom didn't even talk to me about periods, let alone anything else. Wonder why I ended up pregnant at 19! I have made myself more than available to my daughter to talk to. They watched something at school, but it definitely wasn't religious. It was more about STD, with pictures and all. Maybe that'll scare them!

mielikki said...

but do we really want to scare them? I don't want MG to grow up afraid of making love, and all that goes with it (the good things). I just wish they'd find a good balance...
but, on the plus side, it has opened up some really good conversations here at home, with all three of us...

Jo Beaufoix said...

Sounds like you did fine to me. Like everyone says, it's really good she can talk to you. I'll be making sure my kids get a wider view as they're in catholic school and we were taught some weird stuff.