Thursday, August 30, 2012

something new

I think I'm in the process of learning a new life lesson. Its yet something else being a Hospice nurse is teaching me.
So here it is
Don't borrow trouble.
Sound weird?
Lets see if I can possibly explain this. I'm not sure if I can.

My job is to sit, and wait for people who need me to call me.
My previous job was taking care of complicated ICU patients. Doing this, I had to anticipate their needs, and try to meet them, most of the time before the need arrived. It was part of my job to stay one step ahead, if I could, then figure out how to fix it when I couldn't. I could borrow trouble all night long, and usually be correct.
Now, with this job, it's all way, left field. Anyone can call. At any time. With anything. And trust me, they do. I've gotten calls at 2 am about lambs wool. Seriously.
Where my brain runs into a brick wall is AFTER I've dealt with whatever they called me for. Once dealt with, my little ICU brain starts to forecast for the patient I just dealt with.
The thing is?
Thats not what I need to do. They have assigned case managers to do that.
I'm just to 'put out the fire', so to speak.
So I am having to retrain my brain not to worry and forecast and try to do TOO much.
I also seem to forget that I have help....
in the form of spiritual care, and Medical Social Workers.
I'm used to doing by myself.
And when I forget to do something or mess up?
My brain!!!
I am really having some serious about face moments here!! Its so strange for me to try and convince myself that once I've hung up the phone, or made a visit to someone, and charted it, that I'm done. That's that. I need to shelve it, and go on with other things. I'm really struggling with that, especially when I get a call in the middle of the night, and I need to try to go to sleep after the call. And instead I lay there, forecasting away. I think, maybe, as I continue this job I will get better at this, at putting it aside.
But part of me mourns that. I kind of like being a forward thinker....


Daryl said...

its a good thing, so dont give it up just slow it down ...