Monday, July 16, 2007

Embarrasing moments

I am going to tell you about one of the most embarrasing moments of my life. Why? Dunno. Because it was years ago, I guess, and it just makes me laugh, now.
I was 18, and a newcomer to Navy bootcamp in Orlando, Fla. It was August, and hotter than what I could ever perceive Hell to be. (This was before I ended up in Bahrain, obviously.)
We had just gotten our new, ugly uniforms. Stored in mass quantities somewhere on the base, they all smelt like mothballs, and worse. Yes, they made us wear them before they were washed. . .
Ugly, blue chambray work shirts,white tee shirt underneath, and stiff thick denim bell bottom work pants.In the summer heat of Florida August. Everything stenciled with my last name, that took me ages to stencil on. (Thanks Dad, for the long, German name. The only girl that took longer than me was Czech.)
Worst of all, were the work boots. Big, squat black clunky things referred to as "boondockers". I'd never worn such thick soled boots before. They were the cheap kind, government issue. As soon as I made it to my duty station I purchased much nicer, serviceable steel toed boots. But I had to wear the big clunky boondockers for bootcamp.
The very first day I wore them, clomping out of the chow hall, after eating what they claim was food, (I still have my doubts), I got distracted. Waiting to get into the chowhall, legions of men, all in uniform. All at attention. There were close to 200 of them, standing there.
So me? Being the most graceful person ever? Trip over nothing, flying, cartwheeling, ass end over teakettle. I finally land, on my back. Looking up at the hot Florida sun. Not so co-ordinated in those darn boondockers. I lay there, contemplating the mysteries of life, and whether or not I can melt into the cement. 200 men. Within 10 feet of me. All trying not to laugh, because they are, after all, at attention. Numerous of them failing.
Finally, I get up, and limp away. Noting the small, new hole in my ugly work shirt. Worse? The gigantic bruise on my pride.
Those boondockers rest at the bottom of the ocean, somewhere near Yokosuka, Japan.
Now, because I love stories. I want to know, either in my comments, or on your blogs, what is one of your embarrasing moments?


CamiKaos said...

I will have to do a little thinking... or I could go with this lovely standby. I have an uncle who shall remain nameles (coughcouch *yourdad* cough) who loved the tickle. He tickled tickled tickled. as fun, as affection. AS TORTURE. We were once all gathered at "his" house and he was asleep... something he seemed to cherish more than tickling... Some ass head (cough cough *mybrother* cough) thought it would be funny to wake up Uncle who shall not be named here. That wasn't funny. Nor was it funny that I had not used the bathroom yet that morning. And that *I* was made the scape goat. and that I was then tickled until I peed.


Celtic Rose said...

Having 9 uncles, 2 younger brothers, and too many to count male cousins, I feel your pain of the 'tickle-torture'.

Embarrassing moment huh . . .
I will have to think on that, I purposely forget them!

Celtic Rose said...

sorry Mielikki, I always knew you were graceful!

Bubblewench said...

too damn funny..

When I was about 13 our parents took us to dinner at Chesapeake Bay Seafood House. My friend Susan came with us. There was this totally cute boy that was bussing tables. My friend Susan and I were 'stalking' him through the restaurant before dinner, hiding behind walls, giggling at him, you know 13yo crap.

So we hit the restroom (which was our original excuse to leave the table). We start heading back to the table, and decide we are going to look at him just one more time. So we are sneaking around the restaurant, peeking around walls, and can't find him to save our lives. We look everywhere.

I turn around and say something to Susan. Next thing I know, I am getting tapped on the shoulder. I turn around and it's HIM. He points down at my shoes.

I had 4 feet of toilet paper stuck to my shoe and had been trailing it all over the place.

I don't think I ever went to Chesapeake Bay again.


sybil law said...

Dammit! On the spot!
Can't think of anything right now, but when I do - I will let you know!
But I love your story. :)