Pleasant surprise

Mustang boy has quite the fan base, among the people that we know. He's a smily, energetic, vocal, bouncing kind of kid, and people like that.
     A pleasant surprise for me, though, has been what happens frequently, when we are out and about, running errands or whatever. Other boys come up to him and engage him. Various ages, from boys about his age, to teenagers and even beyond. They talk to him, high five him, give him knuckles, smile, wave. It always thrills him, and in turn, me.
     I just never really expected the friendliness, really, especially from teenage boys. To have one smile and laugh at his antics, then high five him over his mad iPhone skills was awesome. This was in a hair cutting salon.
     Very seldom will girls engage him. They smile, some manage a wave, but by far, the young men are much more friendly. When MB is older, I hope he will somehow, retain this fingerprint, and be friendly with the "little guys" he comes across, too. Until then, I'll just keep enjoying the surprise

Anguish

Very rarely will I post about my job, here. This isn't the place, really, for that.
     Today, however, will be an exception.
Last night, I went to make a visit to see one of our sickest patients. 10 minutes after I got there, she died.
     It's good, really. She was suffering. I was waiting downstairs, giving her family privacy in her last moments. When she passed, her daughter alerted me to the time, with a vocalization that can only be described as keening. Just one, long, emotion packed word.
Mommy.
And I started crying.
Then I pulled myself together, and waited some more, until the family was ready for me to offer my comfort, and do my job.
But I won't forget last night anytime soon....

Here we go...

The toddler stage.
Quickly approaching "the terrible two".
I don't know if I'm ready for this....
     I look back, and think back, with some nostalgia (already!) about when I was pregnant, his birth, and when MB was such a tiny guy, who slept, ate, and pooped.
Don't get me wrong, this is kind of fun, too, the running, sliding, swinging, giggly dirty little boy phase.
But the the high pitched scream when he doesn't get every thing he wants? The slapping of his little hands, (yes, he does try to slap at us. Try, being the key word), the mutinous glare he gives off when we are OBVIOUSLY impeding his mischief?
Oh Lord. We are in for it....
He knows some words now, he says dance, and up, and gentle, (he thinks our cat's name is gentle, because we are always telling him to be gentle when he's petting him), among other things. He signs a lot of things to us, which is nice, because I don't have to guess what he wants most of the time, he'll sign it to me. But if he's not in the mood? You can forget it. He will just look at you and yell. Especially if you aren't letting him pound on your phone, iPad, or computer. This child loves his electronics. He is destined to be a computer geek. I'm ok with that.
     But the toddler years. Oy.
I know we will survive it. Other families survive it. I'm just not sure how to survive with with my sanity intact.
Or is that the point, that I have to be slightly insane to survive a toddler? I think that might be it. Especially, when it comes to toddler "music". I have satellite radio in my Jeep, and yes, I found a kids station, which, actually has some humor.
      Some of those songs though? Those people should be shot! We do absolutely limit how much that station plays, and we play GOOD music for the boy. He has yet to know what Yo Gabba Gabba is, or Barney, for that matter. And we won't even discuss the possibility that he will ever see a Tele Tubby. He knows Captain Bogg and Salty, the Beatles, the Eagles, and many other musical styles. He watches Sesame Street now, not a whole episode, but any time Abby the fairy character comes on, he watches her. Thankfully, he is not partial to Elmo. He also enjoys Cookie Monster, because he has a stuffed Cookie here at home, and a book about Cookie.
     He likes going to the daycare, to play with all the other kids. He got lots of Valentine's cards, and the caregivers tell me that he plays well with the other kids, and interacts with everyone without any problems. That's a wonderful thing. I hope it continues, and that he doesn't get too terrible, now that we are on the down hill slide to two....

What to say... Hmm?

     This is my second go at writing this post. Because it started off as a light hearted park anecdote, but kind of accelerated into something my brain has been tossing around since, well.. Since MB has been born, actually. 

     Let me start by acknowledging that there is no right and wrong answer in any of this. We all, daily, make decisions based on our reality, and what is best, and needed, for our family. 

     Today, in the park, a very nice, young Mom that I was talking with about some of the local day care options. She was seemingly interested in the possibility of socializing her only child, a cute boy MB was playing with. But then, like someone pushed the off button, she said "but my husband works, so that I can stay home with him". And for her, that was the end of that possibility.

     Now, my brain reeled through my possible responses. Things like "I love my job", or "my husband works, too," or, the always popular "oh". I rejected them all, and just let the conversation struggle awkwardly for a few minutes, then went in pursuit of my son.

    To be, or not to be a SAHM.. It's tough, no matter what one decides! I know, that if I were to tell MM tomorrow that I wanted to quit, and be home with our boy, he'd tell me I could. We'd have to make some lifestyle changes, but, truthfully? We could do it, and be perfectly fine. But my job is about so much more than the money for me. 

I worked freaking hard to become a nurse. 

I want MB to see the example that if a woman chooses to, she CAN work and be a good mother, too. 

I enjoy hospice nursing. A lot. 

I also like going to a place where I am not mom, truthfully. Lets face it. I was single for a long time. I  was secure with myself, and who I was, where I was. It's been an adjustment. I would not trade my life right now for anything. But it's a bit overwhelming sometimes. And having my job gives me some space to kind of go back, a little, to the me of before. 

And to reflect on the me of now. Both of whom I like. I've come so far, I think.

So for me, and my family, I'm happy to be a working Mom. I have a job that is done from home, a lot, with some patient visits when needed. I'm home with my boy, and when I'm not, he's playing with his new buddies in a great little day care. Or with his Daddy. 

I'm a lucky woman, I'd say..

Big steps

The hunt for the next, great baby sitter did not go well....
     We were very spoiled with our last person, and replacing her has proved to be not possible. The ladies we met were nice. They were qualified, but they weren't right for us. One of them, a friendly older lady sort, who really didn't want to have weekly hours, has offered to be our "date night" sitter. And for that? Yes, she'd be good.
     So, I went and looked at a preschool - daycare. It's about 5 miles from the house. It's clean, well staffed, they give snacks, and naps, and the other kids there seemed happy and played well together, while I was there. It has a nice outside play area for the kids, too. So, though I had wanted to keep him home a little longer, MB is going to go out in the world a bit. Since he's mobile, talking some, and very capable of making his needs known, we think its probably the right time for this step. Try as I might to deny it, he's growing up. I see changes, every day. New words, new abilities. He's very funny and opinionated, and entertaining. He dances to anything with a beat. Even when he's making that beat himself...
I hope he goes, and has fun. I hope he doesn't learn too many bad behaviors. It will happen, I know. And it's only a few hours a week. But it's a new, big step, for us all.

Technology

MM got me a fancy new toy for Christmas. An iPad.
Completely surprised me. He's good like that. So. Here I am, attempting to blog from it.
I did try, earlier in the week, but I was juggling a very active toddler and trying to maintain my sanity. It didn't work and I didn't pursue it. It was actually a post about how I utterly failed mailing our cards out this year. (Sorry).
     The toddler I speak of is well. Cutting molars, so he's been rather uh, angry at times. It hurts, and he doesn't understand why. He was overwhelmed at Christmas, and is presently sitting in front of me, playing with an empty box. (Go figure). He got lots of cars, and this morning we had a rousing game of bathtub basketball, thanks to Santa. He beat me soundly.
    The girl is well, as well.. Still home with us, which is good, because my awesome, long sought after sitter had to quit, related to a family crisis. We both cried. So I'm using MG as my back up, and interviewing more people soon. Sigh. The fun just never ends.
MM and I are good, too. We still like each other ;). (Inside joke. Kind of).
I guess I gotta go. MB is playing in a trash bag. Oh, the Joy.
Happy New Year.

mustang boy posts!!!

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