Friday "mie"-ography

I know, I know. It isn't a picture of a woman. But this woman, she flew that picture.
Today, we are going to talk about Grace O' Malley. Also known as Grania, or, Granuaile.
She was born in 1530, in County Mayo, Ireland. Her father was a famous sea captain, Owen O' Malley. She knew from a young age that she wanted to be a sailor, but since she was a female, she was "discouraged" from that choice. Once, when her father refused to take her on a trip on his ship, it it said she cut off all her hair, and dressed herself in boys clothing to show her parents she could live the seafaring life. Her father, however, just laughed, and tagged her with the nicname "Grainne Mhaol", meaning, Bald Grace. She remained persistent in her desire to sail, though, and eventually was allowed to go to sea with her father, on his fleet of ships.
On a trading mission overseas to Spain, their ship was attacked by an English vessel. Grace had been instructed to lock herself below decks were this to ever happen. Did she? No. Instead, she climbed up the rigging. From above, she saw an Englishman sneaking up on her father, so, she jumped down upon him, screaming the whole time. This distracted the attackers, and the O'Malleys regained control of their ship.
Eventually, Grace learned the ways of sailing enough, and got her own fleet of ships. The O'Malleys gained their wealth mainly through fishing, and trade, however, Grace branched out into piracy, taking on the Turkish, Spanish, and English fleets. She eventually grew her estate to include not only her ships, but several islands, ad castles on the west coast of Ireland.
Her reputation grew, and she was regarded as a fearless leader. Legend has it that Grace gave birth to one of her son's on board ship. The next day, a Turkish ship attacked the ship she was on, and she did not hide. She fought.
She married twice in her life, the first to Donal O'Flaherty, son of a chieftain, and next in line. She was 16 at the time, it was an "arranged" marriage. The O'Flaherty's were a seafaring family as well, and Grace learned much from them as well about the seafaring life. She was soon in charge of their fleet of ships, and and ruled the waters surrounding their land as well. Her husband had a reputation for his fierce temper, and he was killed by a rival clan. They ad been married for 19 years.
After his death, according to Irish law, Grace was entitled to a portion of her husbands estate. The O'Flaherty's saw it differently, though. She was forced to rely on them for her support. She didn't like this, so she set out on her own, and traded on the sea's to earn her own way. She broke free of the O'Flaherty's, went back into the O' Malley's, and ended up becoming a chieftain in her own right.
Her second husband, Richard Burke, she married in an effort to strengthen her hold on Irelands west coast. They were married for 17 years. She had a total of 4 children, 3 with Donal (Owen, Murrough, and Margaret) and with Richard, one son, (Tibbot).
In 1593, after years of fighting the English, and the capture of her brother, Grace went to see Queen Elizabeth, to make peace, and gain her brothers release England had taken over much of Scotland by this time. Grace, as a chieftain, became rebellious because of this, and never wished to give up her independance or her land. She held out longer than most, but in her later years, the pressure from the English began to really weigh heavily on her.
When she was 56 years old, Sir Richard Bingham, a ruthless governor sent to Ireland to rule over the lands, captured her, and scheduled her for execution, along with many members of her clan. At the last minute, her son in law offered himself in her place, as a hostage for the promise that she would never return to her ways. She was released, but Bingham took away her cattle, forced her into poverty, and even plotted to kill her eldest son, Owen. (the plot succeeded)
During this time, the Spanish Armada was terrorizing the Irish and Scottish coastlines. Around 1588, she was responsible for slaughtering hundreds of Spaniards on a ship near Clare Island. She was in her 50's, yet, still fierce in battle.
Still penniless and under the thumb of Bingham, Grace was writing letters to Queen Elizabeth demanding justice. She got no response. In 1593, her son, and brother were arrested and thrown into prison. Irritated, Grace went to London in person, to gain their release, and to get help in regaining her lands and wealth.
No one really understands why Elizabeth actually met with her, but she did. She conversed freely with the Queen, explaining that her moves over the last years had been self defense. She told about how both inheritances from her husbands were held from her, and asked for their return, and she agreed to use her strength and leadership to to defend the Queen against her enemies.
The Queen agreed, and Grace returned to Ireland, demanding the release of her son and brother, and her wealth returned. Her son and brother were set free. Her wealth? Not so much. But, as she was now "defending the queen against her enemies", Grace returned to her life of pirating and trading.
She died in 1603.

Sybil and her very interesting questions

So I wasn't exactly called out for this meme, but, it is one of the few that I have seen that I actually kind of like. So, I am going to play along. Go read Sybil's blog for her take on it if you want, I will wait...

Okay. Lets start answering questions...

If you could travel back in time, what time period would you choose, and why? Um. This one is hard. I'd love to go back to so many different places. But if I had to pick ONE, then, well. Elizabethan England. But only if I could be a rich noble woman that she liked. She had her father's temper, and I would hate to have pissed her off.

Would you rather be a teacher or a prison guard? Why? A teacher. If I wasn't a nurse, I was going to teach. Why? Well, I have seen prisoners, in real life. They, for the most part are not exactly nice people who are known to fling body fluids at people randomly. And people would frown upon me if I just shot them for that. Kids? I can take a kid. Especially a small one. They can be annoying, but they can also be a lot of fun. Besides, who wouldn't want a child whose young mind has been moulded by Mielikki? bwaaaa haaaa haaa.

Which relative do you most resemble? Do you like the resemblance? Appearance wise, I most resemble my middle sister. And no, I don't mind. Other than her idiot husband, she's a pretty nice person. Personality wise, I most resemble my Dad, I think. He's a pretty laid back, wicked sense of humor person (if I do say so myself).

Seduce me - or, rather - how would you seduce me? This is a loaded question. Being as Syb is my cousin's blog wife. I'd feel like it was incest or something. But if I HAD to. Well, home made waffles with chocolate chips in them, some syrup, and some home made kahlua might do it...

Where was your first kiss, and with whom (family doesn't count!)? My first REAL kiss? High school, right after a graduation ceremony, when I was a sophomore. He was a drummer in the band. I'd crushed on him all year long. And he finally got around to noticing me, and deciding I was worthy of his time and attention. He is now married, living in my old home town, with his wife and three daughters. His kiss wasn't bad. But we didn't stay together long, after it...

Now, for my 5 questions. This is for whomever really wants to answer them, I am not particular

1. If you won a free trip for four, to anywhere in the world, no expense to you, where would you go, and who would you take with you?

2.If you could only listen to the music of one artist or band, for the rest of your life, who would it be?

3. If you could go back in time, to your 21st birthday and do it all again, knowing what you know now, would you?

4. Sunflower seeds or pumpkin seeds?

5. Are you an Organ donor? Why, or why not?

wordless wednesday

*photo taken by MM

the Royal Soap Opera

Like my pal Bubblewench and my Uncle, DK I am a history freak.
I love almost every period in history. I have a hard time with some of the REALLY ancient stuff ( think King Tut, pyramids, ect. fascinating to look at, but, I can't get into the actual history of...)
One of my favorite time frames, though, is British history, the time of Henry VIII. I can name off all his wives, his chldren, who was schlepping who (usually) and spout my opinions on much of it. I took the online poll to see which wife I was. I was the first one, Katherine of Aragon. Sadly, she died alone, of what is supposed to be breast cancer, after he threw aside the religion they followed, created one of his own, and divorced her. It could be worse, though. I could have been Anne Boleyn.
I am sure we all know that Showtime is doing a series called "The Tudors". I don't have Showtime. (Or is it Cinemax? I don't have that one, either.)
However, someone at work pointed out to me the other day that they are showing the whole season for free this week. So, curious, I have been investing some of my time trying to watch this.
I won't say I hate it. I don't. I just have a few issues with it.
King Henry, for instance. That actor played Elvis in a mini-series, and I keep expecting him to break out with Heartbreak Hotel at any given moment. And, well, he's too damn pretty to be Henry VIII. Seriously.
I do like the actress they are using for Katherine of Aragon, though. Too bad they barely show her. Yet, at the point they are focusing on, Katherine was on her way out.
I also don't like the lady playing Anne Boleyn. Well, I don't know her in real life, so I can't say that. She also appears to be a fine actress. But, does she really carry off the crazy Anne? Could any actress do that job? She doesn't look crazy enough, or conniving enough (so far). And, they barely made an effort to give her some red hair. It is black with red highlights. At best.
Sam Neil as Cardinal Wolsey, though. That's just awesome. And Jeremy Northam is also doing a fine, fine job
My biggest complaint, truthfully, though, is that they have basically taken the whole time period, and turned it into a soap opera. Seriously. They make attempts at showing some of the political intrigue that was going on during that time, but they barely scratch the surface. People probably would not watch it if they did.
But yet, I am still watching it. I am curious about how far they will go. Of course, I won't see the whole thing, because a new season will start, one that I will not pay to see. But if I am curious, I bet, this time next year, I can watch season 2 for free, as well.

Munchies

This weekend, MM and I were out and about in the glorious weather we are currently enjoying, and in our travels we ventured into the lovely, nearby Target. Yes, I am a Target girl. Here in podunk, we have, nearby, a Target or a K Mart. You do the math.
Anyhow. Target. Lots of stuff at Target. I like getting their cleaning stuff (its cheaper), and I usually get all my cat related necessities there, as well.
This is where the fun comes in. There is this brand of cat toy that my cats ADORE. They are called Fat Cat toys. I can usually find them at my local grocery store, and at the afore mentioned Target. They had a new toy out, this mouse looking thing with a 15 inch tail. For dangling fun. I bought two of them. (Jack is a selfish beast who usually will not share.). They have catnip in them. My three do not usually go wild on the nip, so it didn't make a difference to me.
Surprisingly, Angus went nuts for these toys. Saturday night he loved them up, frolicked with them, chewed on them, wore them both on his back for awhile, and basically caused a huge amount of kitty silliness. With BOTH of them. Those are HIS toys. Then he went banana's and started running around like a crazy, heroine injecting cat. He eventually crashed.
After the laughter, this led MM and I to question whether or not we would wake up to find a hung over cat the next morning. Do animals feel hangovers? I would think so. Maybe not from the nip, but if we gave them hootch. Yep, I would guess so. AND NO I AM NOT SUGGESTING WE ALL GET OUR CATS DRUNK TONIGHT....
Angus was his usual self the nest day. And those toys? Still his. For once, Jack didn't have a chance.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

So
here I sit, cell phone in ear.
Why, you ask?
Because my lovely cousin Cami is doing Mr.Fab's radio show. And since I am at home, indoors, on a BEAUTIFUL Sunday afternoon, I figured I'd call.
Now I know she is popular and all that, and I expected to be put on hold (I think I am on hold) but I have been here for 25 minutes.
And Mr. Fab isn't even playing any good music as I sit here. Just empty space. Thats all I hear
as I sit and wait patiently for my turn.
Will I get a turn?
That beotch Sybil is probably taking everyones turn.
I am also curious as to why, in my mac download file, there is a picture of a scantily dressed blond. Oh, here comes MM, lets ask him, shall we?
He says "someone sent it to me and I was trying to figure out what it was". My answer?
It's a blond, with her nipples out.
huh. Imagine that, mystery solved....
and I am still on hold
But nipple girl just went into the trash. She had big, collagen filled lips, too. And an ugly red negligee on.
See, if I were talking with Cami on the radio show, I could be telling her all this.
Instead, she is probably giggling with her wife, Sybil. Her other wife is at home, sleeping.
ho, hum
you guessed it
still on hold
MM is sitting next to me, now, reading (finally) the last Harry Potty book
I could be mean and spoil it for him
but I won't. He is also currently being stalked by Jack, the youngest, and evilest black cat.
Look out
still on hold
good thing I have an overabundance of minutes on my phone.
there is only 20 minutes left in the show.
Curse you, Sybil!
Shouldn't a voice come on at least, to tell me I am on hold, and have no hope in hell of getting connected?
I hung up and re dialed.
Same british voice
"please wait while we connect your call"
same dead silence.
I don't think I am going to get to talk to Cami on the phone on the radio today.
What do you think?

edit
* after staying on the phone for 45 minutes, I never did get to talk to Cami on the radio. But I tried. As MM as my witness I tried
and his predictions for the HP book?
He says Harry is going is going to punch Voldemort in the ear.
and he is going to beat Snape with a cricket bat
And Ron and Hermione are going to do the 'freak-eeeky"
hehehehehehehehehehehe

oooops- okay edit again
I thought that it was 4 pm, east coast time, but it isn't, its 4 pm west coast time. (the time of the show) so I will be trying again. Duh....

Re Edit
yeah that was fun. And enlightening. And slightly frightening.

Short Story Saturday

Virgil Smoot is an odd little man.
He'd be the first to admit it, too.

You see, Virgil Smoot came from a long line of Virgil Smoot's.
Virgil Smoot, the Viking
Virgil Smoot, the Pope
Virgil Smoot, the book seller
Virgil Smoot, Gunslinger

Yep. I said it. Gunslinger.
That particular Virgil Smoot had, at one point in time, been the fastest draw in the state of Vermont. He stayed in Vermont, because he liked to ski, and, well. He was afraid of those desperado's out west.
But I digress.

The Virgil Smoot we are concerned with is, at this writing, 94 years old.
He wasn't always 94 though. All ears, and big eyes hidden behind big glasses. Looking, sadly, like Mr. Magoo.

No, Virgil Smoot was once a young, virile young man. All the ladies wanted Virgil Smoot.
However, the Smoot was Smitten with one Leonora Van Flipperly.
He met Leonora one day, in the park, where she was arranged prettily by her lady in waiting on a park bench, all pink frilled and parasol'd, being careful that the sun did not make the slightest freckle on her perfectly peaches and cream complexion.
A stiff, spring breeze arose, however, and the pink and white polka-dotted parasol was torn from her lily white hands, and sailed merrily away.
Virgil Smoot had been walking through said park, bored with life, and the universe, and wanting something new and exiting. Little did he know, when that pink and white parasol hit him in the head, that his life would be changing forever.
Catching the parasol, he cast his gaze, looking for the owner. On a park bench, there she sat, sun lighting her pale blond hair to perfection. She looked distressed, until she saw him, with her parasol
"Silly man" she thought, "Pink is not his color."
"You there, bring me back my parasol" she commanded in her high pitched, uppity tone. For Virgil Smoot, it was love at first sound. Hastily, he made his way to her, delicate parasol clutched in his big, meaty hand.
Leonora was far sighted, and as Virgil Smoot came closer, she noted how handsome he was. "Oh my" she thought. Smiling prettily, she accepted her parasol, and, shockingly, the offer of a walk through the park, on his arm.
Together, the handsome couple promenaded through the park, aware only of each other. They walked, ignoring all others, gazing into each others eyes, until, quite suddenly, the sun began to sink. Leonora's lady in waiting, trailing behind them the whole time, gently reminded her mistress that they needed to seek their home.
"But I don't even know your name!" wailed Leonora, as Virgil Smoot bowed, to take his leave.
"Virgil Smoot" he answered "at your service"
"Smoot?" she said
"Unnaceptable, I cannot be 'Leonora Smoot'. I shall never see you again. Begone"
Hearbroken, Virgil Smoot did as she asked. He left the park, and the snooty Leonora who would not be a Smoot.
He joined the Merchant Marines, and entertained all variety of young ladies, but never forgot the rejection of Leonora. He vowed one day, to find one worthy of the Smoot name. And he did. Gert Smoot. And they lived, happily ever after.
And Leonora, you ask?
Still on the park bench, under her pink parasol, wishing she hadn't been too snooty to marry a Smoot.