instead of a pedicure, try. . .

I had the television on yesterday, as background noise, while I was writing something for another project I am working on. It was playing something silly that I wouldn't pay attention to, 101 of the strangest things on television, or something along those lines. As I got up to refresh my iced tea, I glanced towards the screen. I'd just heard a very peculiar phrase, and thought, in my sleep deprived state that I'd heard it wrong. "Did they just say anal bleaching? EEw, what the hell is anal bleaching? Mystefied, I watched the little segment. (wishing now I hadn't.) Seems some porn star by the name of Tabitha Stevens (hey, if she didn't want people to use her name, she should not have changed it to "tabitha stevens". We all know its not her real name). It seems she found some whack job who invented this paste that one can put around their anus, and it will bleach the skin so that its the same color as the rest of your butt. Because thats important in the porn industry I am guessing. So the next time your in a spa, ask them if they have a whack job who does anal bleaching, because if its good for Tabitha Stevens, it must be good for us, too, right?
After watching that segment, the television went OFF. The music came on, and I sat, banging my head against the wall to get out the horribleness of it. Obviously, it didn't work, so here I am, horrifying the rest of you with it. I am so sorry. . .