Bizarre question Thursday slightly postponed until Sunday

I know, I know. I don't usually post on Sunday. But I love the bizarre, weekly question that Holly and Jo are asking, so I swiped it, and postponed it. Before I answer though, I must stop and wish Mustang Man a happy Birthday.
Alright. Thats done, off I go with the question

there you are, sitting with your cup of [insert drink of choice here] and [insert treat of choice here], settling into a good night's reading. behind you, a fight breaks out on your bookshelf. which characters are slugging it out [from which books] with each other, and how do they resolve their dispute? what was the argument about?

So there I am, sipping my Irish Breakfast tea, eating a scone, (Yes, those are really two of my favorite things) when all of the sudden the books on my shelf start shaking and quaking, some of them jumping off the shelf in fear for their own lives!
It seems that the "Little Women" have started in on each other, that Jo was always struggling with her temper. It is bad enough that she burnt Meg's hair that one time, but now, now they were fighting over something sisters should never fight about, a Man.
Hearing their fight, the Boleyn sisters had to join in the fray, for they were always on the lookout for a new man. Anne was, at the moment, quite happy with her Henry, but she longed to get her sister Mary out of her book, and in to one of her own.
The man in question, however was not to interested in either the Boleyn sisters, nor the sisters March, who were at this moment furiously throwing things at each other. (that's what I get for putting knick nacks on my book shelves.) MM's pewter Wizards were doing what they could with their magic wands to protect things, but those girls were crazy!
Anyhow, the man in question, Jay Gatsby, had problems of his own, namely, Daisy, who was watching the fight in amusement and disbelief. "If only they knew how he really was" Daisy was thinking to herself.
Eventually, the fight wound down, Jo's temper cooled off, Meg suddenly remembered she was married to Mr. Brooke, Anne went back to Henry, Amy got distraced by Candy, Mary Boleyn decided to retreat for her own safety, and Beth? She died. We all knew that, right?
And Jay Gatsby shook his head at the mess, thanked the pewter wizards, and walked away....