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Thursday, January 10, 2008

Cowboy Up

I've been tagged, again, this time by the lovely and talented Bubblewench. She managed to misread the Meme, and took it upon herself to list 15 different things. I am not that ambitious, I will stick with five. The five random facts.

1. I can slap leather in more than one way. Yes, that's right. I can line dance. For that matter, I can also 2 step. When I was stationed in Japan, the enlisted club offered 3 "clubs". The "rap" one, where all my darker skinned friends and their Japanese girlfriends hung out, The "rock" one, where the music was never anything I could identify, and certainly didn't want to try dancing to, and the "country", which, was the lesser of the 3 evils. So when in Rome. . .

2. I can tap the top of a longneck beer bottle with the perfect amount of force and precision that doesn't break the bottle, but causes the beer to foam up and run all over the place unless the bottle's owner sucks most of it down, VERY QUICKLY. Another handy thing I picked up in the country bar. I can also suck down a tapped Longneck when forced.

3. I have ridden a mechanical bull. No, not at the country bar in Japan. This was at a place in the Phillipines. A bunch of us went out one night, and, you guessed it... Found a country bar. It had a mechanical bull. After enough pitchers of this stuff called "bullfrog" (orange juice, and some other fine liquids)we all ended up riding the bull.

4. I had a pair of black boots with fringes. Yes I did. And worse? I wore them. On a regular basis. When I went to the cowboy bars. They are loooong gone.

5. When the ship I was on landed in Bahrain, you guessed it. We found an Arabic country bar, where I spent the evening, teaching various portly men in red and white turbans how to line dance and two step. It was amazingly fun.

Ok. Being in a generous mood, I am not going to tag anyone, because, I am sure this MeMe,as well, will spread like wild fire. Breathe now, you are all off the hook.

I am, however, going to go ahead, and tell the story of the glass windows. But, taking a page from MM's books, I am going to give you three scenario's. First, though, go refresh your memory with our first date, told by MM
Back? Good. Here we go.

It was our second date. Some time had elapsed due to circumstance between the first two, ( I went on vacation, he almost moved away), but we managed to reconnect.

Scenario one: Remembering how exited he was to see the 10w 50 at the Exotic Erotic Ball, I called ahead to the restaurant and had them install a sprinkler system, and 4 strategically placed metal poles that I could handcuff him to. My case of oil for the month had just come in, and I was anxious to get back at it. Unfortunately, the restaurant sat us in the atrium area, where all the walls and windows were glass. We drew quite a crowd that night, Podunk is still talking about it, and the atrium of that restaurant is still closed. . . If you ever meet MM, ask him about that scar he has, right above his left nipple. He loves to tell that story. :)

2)When I saw him again, waiting for me, my mind immediately flashed back to the Violent Vengeance Festival of Death. Before I could help myself, I shoved his head into the glass window of the nearest car, a 1966 Ford Mustang. His nose rebroke, and we spent the first half of the date waiting to have it snapped back into place at the local ER, where all my nursing buddies looked at me quite strangely.

3) We met down at the local farmers market, and wandered, and talked for awhile. I was amazed at how really comfortable I felt with him, and glad to see him again. Eventually, we decided we were hungry, and walked to a nearby Mexican restaurant. The hostess sat us at a table near these huge windows, with latches, and hinges. It was a nice summer night, and before long, we were playing with the latches, and laughing at our obvious penchant to meddle with things. We stopped once when they brought our iced tea's, but by the time they came to take our order, the windows were open, and we had a nice, summer breeze blowing at our table. The waitress, surprised, asked us "were those open when you got here?" Uh, yeah. Sure they were!

So there you go. 3 window stories for the price of one. Pick which one you like best, and go with it!

4 comments:

Bubblewench said...

I can also suck down a tapped Longneck when forced.

You are such a perv...

Of course it's 3.. but I like 1 better.

MM said...

Perv? Wow, I didn't get called a perv, must be a guy thing, all guys are pervs I guess.

I'm going to say 1, 2, and 3

CamiKaos said...

1 is the right one. You called and told me all about it!

sybil law said...

It's 1. I so know it. You love the oil and dancing. I think being an exhibitionist was just the icing on the cake!
Haha