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Sunday, April 6, 2008

Crucial

I have learned many valuable lessons in my life time.
Don't drink a pitcher of vodka and orange juice while watching Gremlins, for example.
Also, don't join the military if privacy is something you value.

I've learned the value of a dollar. And now, when I am going to make a major purchase, I stop to think about how many hours/days/weeks/years I would have to work to purchase it. Then, decide if it is worth it to me, or not.
I have NOT bought many things that way.

But David McMahon, over at authorblog wants to know
What is the most crucial lesson that I have learned?

Well. Here it is.
I learned, the hard way, the tried and true way that it is better to be happy by myself, then miserable with someone else.
It is the credo of which I have lived by for the past 10 years, at least.
It is why I am not married, probably.
Because, if and when I do take that step again, I want it to be happy.
Now, I am not saying that I expect perfect things, and to never be mad at, or hurt by people. Its human nature. But miserable? Yes, I expect to NOT be miserable. I have walked that path, and it was dark, and depressing as all get out. I turned into someone who was not me. I didn't even like, or, eventually recognize whom I had become. I was bitter, quiet, and angry, a lot of the time. I rarely smiled. Hardly ever laughed. I had no friends, and I was not living anywhere near my family. Life truly sucked.
And the man I was married to? Stuck in the same, vicious cycle. A cycle that neither one of us, at our young ages, knew how to break out of. So we treated each other not as friends, or loved ones. In the end, we treated each other with nothing but anger or indifference.
And it cost me.
It took me a long time to get back to myself after I took myself out of that situation. I had to discover (or, re discover?) myself, change what I didn't like, and develop what I did like. That takes a long time. I also had to decide to like myself. To love myself. Because if I don't, then who will?
I could not have done these things being miserable with someone else.
A long time has passed, and I can tell you with certainty, that I do like myself, I am happy with the life I have, and, I honestly think it has made all the difference. I can offer more to the relationships I find myself in, whether it is with my friends, family, and now, MM, and his daughter, Mustang Girl.
Because I chose to be happy with myself, and not miserable with a few 'someone elses', I am now at what may certainly be, at my "advanced" age (ha ha)
one of the most satisfying times of my life.
And I will not lose myself again. I know better, now.

10 comments:

CamiKaos said...

powerful post.

Mimi said...

I agree with Cami, this is so powerful! Wow.

Bubblewench said...

totally awesome. I know that one oh so well.

And - we can't turn the alarm off on Bob. It's driving Scott nuts. We're dumb. Thought you would get a laugh at that.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Brilliant post Mie. And that's such a good thing to have learned.

holly said...

um. i got some thinkin' to do...thanks, mie...

Lori- Fairytales & Margaritas said...

I think that's one of the most important things that a person can learn. Unfortunately, I think few of us take the time to do it. Slowly, I'm coming to that place. Slowly.

KiKi said...

I'm afraid to ask why re: drinking while watching gremlins - but the possibilities have got me lmao.

What a great post. Ahhh... a sigh of relief for any life experience that makes us smarter.

Daryl E said...

Truly the best lesson anyone can learn is to love themselves and to never let anyone dissuade you.

The shopping thing .. not so much .. LOL

My expressions LIVE said...

Truely spoken, I loved this post. I as well as many others can relate to this post. Nicely done!

MEL

sybil law said...

I am so glad you learned that lesson! Life sucks, but you know, we always learn and grow from it...