See that lovely shirt up there? I adore it. Its what I get for pestering Sybil while she was writing her blogpost about Soccer Moms. As if she could *ever* really fall squarely into that catagory. She'd be the coolest soccer mom anyhow.
But I love the t shirt. I love it so much it HAD to be my new header....
Now on to what I was really going to post about.
Recently, someone from my graduating class made a profile on Myspace for our class year. An old friend alerted me to it, so, I added it to my list of friends. Why not?
Well, another old friend popped up on it. One of my best friends from highschool, as a matter of fact. She requested me to add her, but her profile was set to private, and I couldn't tell who it was, so I said No. (I don't like the myspace stalker freaks). A month later, she sent me a message saying who she was. So I added her.
Long story short, we ended up IM'ing each other yesterday morning.
Keep in mind, I have not seen this woman since 1988. We got into all kinds of trouble together in highschool, but we were KIDS! I knew a little bit about her life because I ran into her ex brother in law once, over 15 years ago, but of course that was all bad stuff about her because his brother hates her now.
AAAAAANYHOW
my point?
She started telling me all these details of her life. Her youngest daughter is bipolar, her oldest was a cutter, she smokes a lot of weed rather than take medicine for her graves disease. Her Army husband has flashbacks from the Iraq war... the list goes on and on. Oh, and she told me at least 3 times that she loved me.
I was not really prepared for all the familiarity, after 20 years. Here she was, no holds barred, telling me all the details of her life. All the very personal details. And I? Just kind of sat there, responding in a very vague way.
Because, I don't know her anymore. I knew the feisty, fun loving, trouble making, water skiing, clarinet playing girl. But the weed smoking, Army wife, parent of bipolar teenager woman? I don't know her at all. Not enough to share the intimate heartbreaks of my life with.
Now, maybe, someday, I will know her again. I will certainly talk to her, IM her, hell, we might even meet up in person again, if we can arrange it somehow. (She is moving to Georgia soon, as their last Army assignment).
But it was kind of surreal for me. Reconciling the girl with the woman. I mean, I know I grew up. But I live with me.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Blame Mie for everything!
Posted by mielikki at 11:44 AM
Labels: old friends
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14 comments:
I don't know. I recommend giving her a wide berth.
Haha - what Fab said!
No - that IS weird, and I've had it happen to me before, too. It's so strange, how people just spill all their life stuff to you. I would never do that, personally, but obviously she feels really comfortable with you, which is sort of a compliment?! :)
That header looks good. Still - I love your lovely pics...
Sounds like she is carrying around a lot of pain.
~Jef
It sounds like she could use a friend, but I'd be careful. I've seen quite a few well intentioned people get dragged down into the abyss of others problems.
Sound advice from everyone. She does seem to carry much pain. She kind of always has. She is all the way in Georgia, will not be coming to California, and, will not be for a long time, if ever. The nice thing about the internet, is I can pretend I am not here, even when I am...
and she has NO CLUE where I live, or anything about me.
I think it's the "nurse look" that gets people to unburden. It happens to me all the time. I learned long ago that I cannot pull everyone out of their own, personal abyss'.
you are an '88 grad? i'm an '88 grad. although i haven't aged at all since...
i'm still, um, 25. yeah...
i have had a very similar experience. it was short-lived. i was grateful. and i didn't even have to change my name. niice.
That is interesting, you know we are all so shaped by those people we knew, but there are those who I realize never left their "high school" selves, and that person seems so far away from me, I've lived a lot since I graduated.
I have a guess, I wonder if I'm right on who.
And, that's a lot of pain to be carrying around. My prayers with her.
She sounds a bit lost and sad, but I'd still be careful.
Oh, and I love the Tshirt.
I'm on the same page as the others. It's nice to reconnect with someone but she sounds a bit... desperate... like she might CLING to you suddenly. Take it slow.
Yeah.. what they said.... kid gloves.. and a long stick to keep the distance..
And since saying the same thing 2x wasn't enough..
GO CLASS OF '88! WOO HOO!
You know better than most, as a nurse, that some people's problems can become overwhelming. Kinda like a drowning man who clings to you, the rescuer in an attempt to save themselves. They don't intend to drown you in the process, but they can kill you in their own desperation.
It reminds me of Tara.
Sad.
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