Poison Control

Calling middle sister's house is always chancy. She works during the day, and the chance is that you've called on on one of her work days, and will end up on the phone with my brother-in-law for an unspecified amount of time, depending on his mood. Could be 30 seconds, could be hours.
Now, my BIL is a very nice man. He was in the Navy when he was younger, a Gunners Mate. Played with guns. (not a stretch for him, he is an avid hunter.) Sadly, some of his hearing was impaired during this stretch of time, and you can put the phone down next to you, and still hear every word he utters. And,though he is very smart about many things, (and likes to talk about those things A LOT), child rearing is not his forte. None the less, he is the primary caregiver for three boys, ages 7, 3 and 1, while middle sister is at work. The kids are relatively unscathed from this, and two of them go to school for the better part of the day, now, so its all good.
So I call yesterday, and, middle sis it at work. Darn the luck. Maybe 30 seconds into the conversation, BIL says, real smooth like "you wouldn't have the number for Poison Control, would you?"
Oh shit. Who ate what sez I. They have not only the three boys, but three dogs, as well. I had many visions running through my head. Baby ate dog, baby ate a bullit, dog ate chocolate? I also had the vision of a very sick third nephew, and an obtuse BIL.
"Well, the baby ate some lotion, and middle sister is kind of freaking out. He already puked up the waffle and milk I gave him at breakfast, and is acting normal, so things are fine, right?"
By this time I'd gotten to my computer and looked up Poison Control. I gave him the number, and asked some very pointed questions about how baby was acting. Playing? check. Still walking? check. Eyes not crossed? check. Ok, but still, call poison control. Because you NEVER EVER KNOW.
Yes, the baby is fine. I knew he'd be ok, but still. Is that any way to start a conversation with someone? Poison Control basically said the boy would have diarrhea today, probably. I hope BIL is home alone with him, again, to get his just desserts! I know kids can get into anything when your back is turned, and my lotion drinking nephew is proof positive of that!