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Tuesday, May 8, 2007

My favorite eating utensil

For Playtah

Hands down, the best eating utensil EVER has to be the Spork.
Its a well known fact that Eve used the Spork to remove the skin from the apple she fed to Adam.* Since they were evicted from the garden after the apple incident, and all the good things in the world had to now be balanced out with evil things, the melon baller was invented. But I digress.
After the Adam and Eve incident, the Spork went underground for a few years. Interestingly enough, it resurfaced again during the 100 years war between England and France. Chevalier LeCasserolè used one to stab the famous Knight Sir Hamalot in the rump in order to evade capture. What Sir Hamalot didn't realize was that the offending Spork sticking out of his posterior had been tipped with a poisonous glaze. He died four hours later, Spork still protruding, dangerously close to the cook fire...**
From there, use of the spork spread like wildfire. In the 1920's, it was used as a swizzle stick, and hair ornament for some of the upscale flappers, like Daisy Ladle.*** When the first automobile was built, Henry Ford actually had a Spork attatched to the grill to turn the crank with. It had to be replaced, because the Irish immigrants of that time were going out at night, and stealing said Sporks to eat their potato's with.****(Sorry Celtic Rose, and BW, I just couldn't pass that one up.)
Eventually, like all good things, the Spork took a fall. It all started when their leader made a deal with KFC. After that, the only place you could find a good Spork was at the chicken house, in the school cafeteria, and, occasionally, a church potluck. I predict the Spork will rise again, however. I will just have to be patient.

* This just has to be true. I'll find it in the Bible, somewhere.
** I could swear I saw this on Monty Python, and we all know he speaks the truth!
*** Who wouldn't want to meet a flapper named Daisy Ladle. She is elusive, living here in Podunk, California.
**** Possibly made up, just to have a little fun with my favorite Roses.

SO, I am off, into the wild blue yonder. I am going to find an internet cafe in at least one city we're in, because I cannot fathom going for nine days without seeing what you all are up to. And posting myself. Its become a great outlet, and my imagination stretches beyond the beyond in this thing. You can be sure, when I get home there will probably be a large, blog from hell, probably with enough pictures to make up for the Wordless Wednesdays I'm missing!
Love to you all.

11 comments:

CamiKaos said...

I am in the midst of super inanity house 2007 but came by to say BYE. I read litterally the 1st sentance and the last paragraph and will come back later cause FUNNY... then I will go read the post that spurred it on cause... FUNNY...

just make sure when you're in the internet cafe the family members aren't reading over your shoulder!!!!!

LOVE YOU

mielikki said...

I will not let ANY family members remotely close to me whilst blogging, or blog hopping. Have no fear. And Playtah's dissertation on Sheep, good or evil had me laughing so hard I cried...

Wendy said...

Great post, Mielikki!!!!!!! It's one of my favorite eating utensils, too, and I was doubly happy that it altered the course of history in the 100 Years War! (And the peasants rejoiced!)

You're right, the only places I see them anymore are at KFC and the random potluck. Oh, and Taco Bell, too. I say it's time for a revolution. And a revival. A revivalution. :)


--Playtah

David in DC said...

Funny stuff.

Safe travels, Mielikki.

DC awaits your arrival. It's sort of the antidote to all this Queen Elizabeth nonsense.

sybil law said...

Bon Voyage!
Me loves some sporks.
You must keep blogging. Or I will spork you one!
Hey - spork you! :)

Rachel said...

You can read about my being attacked by a blue hair at KFC with a spork here:

http://rachelg1016.blogspot.com/2007/01/attack-of-spork.html

I don't like them anymore.

mielikki said...

Sybil- spork you, too! giggle.
Rachel- I read that post. It was sad, and funny at the same time. Don't hate the spork, though, hate the sporker!

mielikki said...

Oh, and David in DC? I would be the perfect antidote to the queen! I just can't wait!

Bubblewench said...

Have a great trip.. enjoy. I'm sorry I won't get to see you as you tour MY coast!

Love the Spork!!!

Mimi said...

Oooooh my friend, enjoy, travel safely and take lots of photos! And, give N. a hug for me. Her mom is in my prayers.

kaliulka said...

this blog is sporking amazing! I have always loved sporks! I have finally found my tribe. The last 20 years had to go to Taco Hell to experience high culture. Speaking of high culture--Spork the Queen! If I were Buckin Fush, I would give Mielikki and her whole sporkin fam-damily a Texas invite for a big Crawford-style b-b-que high tea over at the White House. Much more interesting. I still think the tight-assed old bitch probably killed Diana... Thanks for the history lesson and for setting the record straight (revivalist history is much more fascinating than the real krap)!!!