the raving post of an insomniac

I can't sleep!!! AAAAAARGH! I think that MB has got me so trained to getting broken up sleep that even now, while he is blissfully sleeping the night away, I am awake with an active mind!

Of course, there are other things going on that are helping to activate my mind, but still. Its 0253 AM. I would love to be sacked out about now

But since I'm not...

Halloween is almost here! I have blogged many times how much I like Halloween. To me, its a pretty much no pressure holiday. There is some work to it, costumes, candy. But thats FUN work. Don't get me wrong, I like the other holidays, but sometimes, too much brain work has to go into them. Thanksgiving isn't bad, but Christmas, though I love it, is a brain buster. We made it easier on ourselves this year, and the adults drew names again, which I like very much. We'll spoil the kids, play steal a gift, and make merry.

But I'm not ready for that yet! I am ready to bring on Halloween! We decided not to put MB into a full on costume this year, I think he wouldn't like it much. He does have a cute Halloween onesie to wear, though. If I were going to dress him up, I think he looks a little like Caspar, the friendly Ghost, so I'd do that.

Sigh. 3 am. And here I sit. I'd bet money that the minute I get tired and fall asleep, MB will wake up hungry...

3 months old :)

And we couldn't love him more if we tried....

Hit and Miss

see I post twice in a week, then nothing for what, 9 days?

Ahh, you all know what I'm up to, I don't want to bore you with baby stuff. I could go on and on and on about the Boy. He's a whopping three months old now, but, as with all preemies, they adjust the age back to look for milestones.. He's doing great, gaining weight, eating, pooping, smiling, cooing and making all kinds of racket when he chooses to. He stays awake longer, sometimes too long, because he's already figured out that if he goes to sleep he might miss something good. Little stinker.

Work is at the bottom of the dogpile for me. Because I was off so long, I think my body forgot how to fight the germy's off, and as a result, I've been sick and at home this week from it. Its typical. My nursing immunity will kick in and bail me out here. I kind of expected something like this to happen. Its not horribly severe, just enough to annoy me, actually, save a few incidences that had me home alone, being sick in a bathroom and listening to the baby cry. That was kind of hard. It sucked actually...

I'm looking forward to the fall weather we are supposed to get this week. If I had to choose a season to live in permanently, I'd choose Fall. I really like this time of year. If only they wouldn't contaminate it by putting out the Christmas stuff already....

lets try again

Wow.

I'm on the computer, twice this week! MM and MB are napping together on the couch. (I'd post a picture but it is really not MM's thing when I take pictures of him sleeping, even if he's with the cute baby).

Its funny how my time priorities have changed. I used to climb out of bed leisurely, open my computer, peruse the news, the blogs, look around at a few things, IM with MM while he was at work...

Now, of course, my time revolves around the cute new boy in the house. And I'm totally not complaining about that. One of the funny things I've noticed now is that I can be satisfied looking like hell most days, but MB has to look totally cute or I'm not satisfied. :).

My new work shoes should be coming tomorrow, thats the soonest I can get them. I'm hoping that I get to stay home on call tonight. If not, I'm going to have to wear my not work shoes to work in, which I don't like doing. I have this thing about keeping the stuff I wear in the hospital separate. Even shoes. But I CANNOT wear my other nursing shoes anymore without extreme pain. I like not being in extreme pain...

MG turned 17 yesterday... we are making her ugly cake this weekend for her. I still can't believe she's 17, and graduating from high school this year. I met her when she was this cute little 12 year old. She has grown up so fast. I'm sure, in a few years I will be crying about how fast my boy has grown up on me too. But for now?

I still get the good smelling baby :)

aargh

Its talk like a pirate day, but frankly? I'm too tired to actually attempt it. I'd probably hurt myself.

MB is in his swing right now, but has been fussy today so I am expecting it won't last long so I better update in a hurry.

Work has been work. It hasn't changed. Going back was VERY hard, for many reasons. Somehow, my feet are wider than they were before MB, and my shoes just aren't cutting it, and it really is bad working 12 hours in shoes that are not wide enough. Not a good thing. And I can't find any locally so I am awaiting some mail order shoes....

emotionally, I cry at least once a shift because I am not at home. I do miss everyone when I am at work. But I still like my job and want to do it.

Oh man. Tears and crying from the swing. I knew that wouldn't last long.

We're all good here. I ate carnitas last night, home made. I think they didn't agree with MB, and now I feel bad and have to go soothe him...

so Hi and Bye I guess

here we go again...

So, tomorrow is it....

I'm headed back to work after having been off since the end of April.

My brain is going in so many directions. Part of me looks forward to going back, getting into the groove of taking care of people again, and reconnecting with the co workers I happen to like, (and avoiding the ones I don't).

Part of me is scared, because I am still having some pain issues with my back and shoulders, and at times even my knees. I still seem to have a bunch of relaxin floating around my body from the pregnancy. Literature says it can take 3 months to get it all out. Your body makes 10 times the relaxin it needs while you're pregnant. I can sure tell.

Part of me wants to stay home, with my boy, so that I don't miss a single solitary thing. But I know that option is not realistic, nor would it be healthy, for either me, or him. Even at such a young age, he has to start learning some independence from Mom. Thats a tough one. Of course he has MM and MG here to meet his needs, and I know they are going to continue to be awesome at that. But I won't be here to well,

be here.

Deep cleansing breath!

Its going to be all good.... Once again, we will adjust and find our new rhythm

whats been going on

I swear we are a magnet for rude people when we go out to have dinner.

We went back for the good mexican food to the same restaurant where my water broke. It was fairly early in the evening, and just one family was in the small area where we were sat down.

Right as our dinner arrived, the woman in the group, very loudly, and stridently, starts yelling at everyone at her table about her ability to tolerate pain while she is giving birth ("I just turn my head and stare off!! I DO! THATS WHAT I DO!!!") and she then progressed into yelling louder and more insistently "YOU TRY TO PUSH A WATERMELON THROUGH YOUR ASSHOLE!!!" numerous times. Her KIDS were begging her to be quiet, her husband just kind of sat there, unamused, while she bleated on... and on... and on... for about 10 minutes. Geez. Like I really wanted to hear that.

I go back for my first day of work this Wednesday. I've been dreaming about it. I don't know if thats a good thing or not. But, it will be fine, I'm sure.

Mustang Boy had his 2 month appointment this last week. He weighs 9 lbs 13 oz, and is 22.5 inches long. If you go by that growth chart they love so much he is in the 5th percentile :). Not bad at all. He is eating well, and starting to stay awake longer and interact with us more. He also got some shots, which didn't thrill him (or me) in the least bit. He survived it, and was easily consoled, but I know in the future he's going to know what needles are and hate them. I don't blame him, at all...

Mustang Girl wise, she is enjoying school, so far, and we are getting ready to have her senior portraits taken. We will probably have some pictures taken of MB, as well....