Tired

Oh I am so tired....

I know, I know...

babies+parents= no sleep.

But its really not just the sleep thing, because frankly, MM is really good to me when it comes to sleep. Whenever he can, he gets up with Mustang Boy and does a middle of the night feeding so that I can sleep as much as I can.

I am emotionally tired.

Its not a bad thing, I don't think. It shows I'm human, really. The last week has been tough, MB is having problems with being constipated and gassy, and there is NOTHING worse then hearing your baby scream and cry from something so simple as wanting to have a BM, or even fart. Its getting better, slowly, too slow for my taste. Other than that, he is staying awake longer, holding his head up and looking around, and he has started to smile at me, purposefully, especially when I tickle his chin. He also makes really sweet noises to me while I am doing things with him. I think he is telling me his secrets..

But then, he gets hungry, and eats, and then the pain again... and I want to cry with him. (and sometimes, I do).

Yes, we are using the Mylicon, we've made and given him more of the karo syrup water, warm baths, belly massage. Even rectal stimulation. (I know, TMI).

We see the pediatrician tuesday, I'm wondering if we need to change his formula. He is getting breastmilk, and high calorie preemie formula right now. We shall see...

Time stand still!

Time continues to fly by. Tomorrow, Mustang Girl is starting her SENIOR year in high school...

it seems like yesterday I was blogging about her graduating from Eighth Grade. It is scary how fast time goes by. I'm afraid that I'm going to turn around tomorrow and Mustang Boy is going to be starting kindergarten. Then graduating himself.... for the first time in a long time I am wishing that I had a way to slow things down a bit. Instead, I am trying to enjoy every moment. Especially before I head back to work...

We took a longer trip with him this weekend, an over night one. We attended a friends wedding reception, then drove to my parents house the next day. MB did pretty well, until the ride home, he was so tired of the car seat, that soothing him was nearly impossible. We were all so glad to get home and back to our routine, such as it is. The routine is about to change, though, since MG is starting school, MM is starting his classes again, and I am going back to work soon. Finding our new normal over the next few months is going to be interesting, but we've figured it out so far, so I am sure we will muck our way through it....

Meanwhile, here is a picture of MB relaxing with his grandfather...

Oh, how we've grown!

One month left

It seems like a long time, but I know now it's not.

I go back to work in one month.

I should actually be going back in about a week, but I got my leave extended, related to Mustang Boy's prematurity. (Go, me!)

Part of me is ready to go to work, and enjoy my job again. I do miss nursing other people.

Part of me wants to quit today and stay home with our son, enjoying every second.

That isn't an option. And I don't really want it to be, honestly. I like working. But its going to be tough, driving away that first night.

What really helps is that I know I am leaving him in very capable hands.

I knew that MM was a great father, anyone can see that when they see him interact with MG. But seeing him with our son? OMG I could not have found a better man to procreate with! Seriously. I love watching the two of them together. I know while I am at work that everything is going to be better than fine, and that MB will be in the best of hands. That will make going to work again so much easier.

Hopefully I won't fall asleep mid shift....

Waiting, patiently

Every now and then, I have to re-affirm that I've been Darylized...

We saw this lovely dog when we were at Donner Park. He was sitting with his back to me, patiently watching his people pack up their stuff, getting ready to leave. I decided I needed a picture of him, and just as I was taking it, like he knew what I was up to, he turned around and gave me this sweet look. His owners spoke Spanish, and sadly, I don't, so I don't know his name...

fun weekend

We had a very interesting weekend... it was kind of cool.

It was MM's last weekend off before having to go back to work (after being off for almost a month) so I let him have all the control over our outings...

Sadly, Saturday found us at a Memorial Service for a friend of MM's. Lots of people there we knew, it was a very informal gathering, and turned out to be a nice time telling stories and meeting/seeing people.

One person there that I knew also had her 95 year old mother there. She asked me to come sit down with them for a bit so her Mom could see the baby. So, I did, and, in the end, this 95 year old lady ended up with Mustang Boy in her lap. He was sound asleep. The change that came over her was beautiful. She so enjoyed holding him, and talking to him, and telling me about her own son, when he was that tiny, and she could not have him at home until he was over 5 pounds... watching her, I could envision the young mother that she was. It was kind of awesome. He stayed calm and sleeping in her lap, for a good 10 minutes. Her daughter was more nervous than the rest of us were. One thing I have learned is that when you go into the public with a baby, you are an elderly person magnet. I had more people coming up to us to see him and "bless him" this weekend. It was interesting.

Sunday, we took a short trip to the Donner State Park. Its on a lake, with lots of walking trails and chipmunks. It was a nice get away that wasn't too away from home. It felt good to be out walking in the sunshine. We want to go back with a big picnic, soon! Mustang Boy did pretty well, but at the end of the day he was fussy and ready to be at home where he could sprawl out and stretch. Not in the car seat, or Moby wrap...

Tomorrow it will be four weeks since his birth. I can't believe how fast time is going. He has gained some weight, we are up to a whopping 5 lbs 6 oz now! Our newest preemie battle is unfortunately with constipation issues... not fun. But we are working through it, one of the pediatricians gave me some great tips Sunday morning on how to help him. Yes, I absolutely paged the on call MD sunday am, he was miserable. I was miserable. She didn't mind me calling at all...

OH!

and we got a package, from NYC! We LOVE the onsies, pictures will come soon, Daryl! Thank you so much!!!!!!!

Figuring it all out

So, Mustang Boy has been home now for 18 days. That just doesn't seem possible.

Life goes on, but at a slower pace for the moment. The days of being able to just grab keys and walk out of the house are over, now I have to make sure I have whats needed for he and I, load him in the car seat (which takes me some time, because he is already a wiggler) and THEN I can go. What has really been a wonderful blessing is that MM has been home with us since the birth of the boy. When it's all said and done, he basically had a month off to spend time at home getting to know his son, and help me through the hormonal minefield that is Post Partum life.

Speaking of hormones, I was half way expecting to have a slight Post partum depression problem. Happily, so far, knock on my computer, I've really not experienced that. Yes, I've had days where I cry over nothing. I had one memorable day where my emotions ran the gamut from deleriously happy to screaming shrew (thankfully we haven't repeated THAT), but all of that was within the first week, and, expected. I still get tearful kind of easily, but I can deal with that fairly well.

The fun thing is learning MB's cues to what he wants, or needs. Yesterday, he was fussy and not settling down, like he usually does after his belly has been filled. He was laying on my chest, and wormed his way all the way up, and then laid his head on the bare skin in the v neck of my shirt.

Now, when he was first born, every morning we would lay skin to skin for at least an hour. It soothes him, it soothes me, frankly. But lately that has kind of fell by the wayside, being at home means other things demand me. But he apparantly missed it, and needs that time. So I pulled off his onesie, and tucked him up under my shirt, where he immediately calmed, and then slept for a solid 2 hours, when he woke up ready to eat again. So, the moral of that story is for me to make sure he gets that time with me. Not a problem. And I was pretty pleased with myself that I was able to figure out how to soothe him.

We have one more week of having Daddy at home with us, and then, he goes back to work. :(. Mustang Girl is starting school in less than a month, and I will have to go back to work myself sometime soon. I am actually seeking to extend my maternity leave until Sept. 1st, just to make sure we are over our prematurity issues. I want to go back to work. But I know its going to be tough at first.

But We will figure that out, too...