Have you ever really sat and considered your own death?
Me neither. Well, not entirely true. I've thought about things that I don't want to happen to me. Especially strokes, or a long, debilitating disease. I want what mostly everyone else does. To die, in my sleep, when I am old.
I've watched this movie, though. A few times. The one where Will Farrell playes an IRS agent named Harold, and there is an author narrating his life in his head? (Emma Thompson). I forget the name. It's a quirky little movie. If you haven't seen it, and you think you are going to, don't read any further, as I will ruin the ending of it.
Harold is destined to die, you see. Emma has a hard time deciding how she's going to do it, and goes through all these scenario's. And he hears most of what she's writing. He knows she is trying to kill him off. She doesn't realize Harold Crick is a real person. When she finally does realize it, she's already written the end of the book. He is supposed to die. She lets Harold read the book, and decide what to do with it.
I should mention here that Harold, by this time, has fallen in love with Maggie Gyllenhaal, the local baker. He is finally happy in his life. He doesn't want to read the book. He does, though. Eventually. And then, Harold does the bravest thing I think anyone could do. Knowing he is going to die, he goes forward, to his death. He accepts it. Embraces it even. Because he has to.
Now, with my job, truthfully, I meet many people who "have to". The people who have been battling disease or medical problem. Ones that always seem to win, in the end. Cancer, COPD, strokes, even, just to name a few. In fact, most of those people have had a long time to reconcile their death. Most of them go very at peace. And most of them, thankfully, are not young. (The young deaths always get to me, though, no matter HOW at peace with it they are. I hate it.). I think that these people are incredibly brave. But the Harold Crick thing.
Yes, I know it was a movie. But put yourself in that place, for a moment. He died, walking in front of a bus to save a child. He knew he was going to do it. And it would probably hurt.He'd had a full day to even think about it. To do, for one last time, the things he wanted to do. To live his happy life.
Could you purposely walk in front of a bus? Knowing that you were going to die? After all, it saved a child. I think I could, to save a child. But I'd be trying my damndest not to get hit myself, no matter what the "author" said! Or I'd be searching the area for that child to prevent the situation, if I could.
So Harold died. But the good EMS system shocked him back into life. Emma compromised the ending of her book, for the greater good of Harold, and his baker lady.
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