Saturday, February 2, 2013

What to say... Hmm?

     This is my second go at writing this post. Because it started off as a light hearted park anecdote, but kind of accelerated into something my brain has been tossing around since, well.. Since MB has been born, actually. 

     Let me start by acknowledging that there is no right and wrong answer in any of this. We all, daily, make decisions based on our reality, and what is best, and needed, for our family. 
     Today, in the park, a very nice, young Mom that I was talking with about some of the local day care options. She was seemingly interested in the possibility of socializing her only child, a cute boy MB was playing with. But then, like someone pushed the off button, she said "but my husband works, so that I can stay home with him". And for her, that was the end of that possibility.
     Now, my brain reeled through my possible responses. Things like "I love my job", or "my husband works, too," or, the always popular "oh". I rejected them all, and just let the conversation struggle awkwardly for a few minutes, then went in pursuit of my son.
    To be, or not to be a SAHM.. It's tough, no matter what one decides! I know, that if I were to tell MM tomorrow that I wanted to quit, and be home with our boy, he'd tell me I could. We'd have to make some lifestyle changes, but, truthfully? We could do it, and be perfectly fine. But my job is about so much more than the money for me. 
I worked freaking hard to become a nurse. 
I want MB to see the example that if a woman chooses to, she CAN work and be a good mother, too. 
I enjoy hospice nursing. A lot. 
I also like going to a place where I am not mom, truthfully. Lets face it. I was single for a long time. I  was secure with myself, and who I was, where I was. It's been an adjustment. I would not trade my life right now for anything. But it's a bit overwhelming sometimes. And having my job gives me some space to kind of go back, a little, to the me of before. 
And to reflect on the me of now. Both of whom I like. I've come so far, I think.
So for me, and my family, I'm happy to be a working Mom. I have a job that is done from home, a lot, with some patient visits when needed. I'm home with my boy, and when I'm not, he's playing with his new buddies in a great little day care. Or with his Daddy. 
I'm a lucky woman, I'd say..


Finding Pam said...

I was a stay at home mom when our oldest was born. He had some birth complications and could not go to day care. It would have been detrimental if he had become sick in his first year.

On the other hand, I was a latch key kid, my husband's mom was a house wife and stay at home mom, so it was important for me to stay at home.

We did with out a lot of things so I could stay home. I caught a lot of heat about being a stay at home mom from my contempories. It was not popular during women's lib to be at home with your child. I never regretted any time with my children and I worked later after our kids were older. I had to bring in kids to play with our oldest because there were no children in our neighborhood.

I agree with you about keeping your idea of yourself before you became a mom.

Take care of your self and your sweet family.

Daryl said...

i'd say so too ...

Mimi said...

I've never been able to be a SAHM, and I am ok with that.