Grumpy

Wow

I am grumpy today, and I have a headache.

part of me wants to just put a sign around my neck that says "leave the grumpy woman alone" and the other part of me realizes that this is probably stemming from hormones and I should just pull up my big girl panties and get over it.

Tonight is 'date night' for MM and I, so I am hoping my mood improves. I am doing my best to improve my mood.

But then I get all weepy.

Damn, how come no one warned me that pregnancy isn't for sissies?

Bubblewench, consider yourself adequately warned.

never fall asleep chewing gum, chew your prunes.

I can't expound on either one of those pieces of advice. Needless to say, work has been very interesting this week. And last week. It was my personal challenge these last few weeks to get through each work night without

puking

falling asleep at the desk

crying

or killing a co worker.

I failed one or two of those criteria, however... (care to guess which ones?).

The full moon of last week really brought out some winners in my little home town. Even a little old demented lady who would vociferously verbalize her intentions to kill most of us, on a regular basis. Nights like that I love being a nurse :)....

The wee little Hun in the oven has reached a new milestone, we are now in the second trimester, and, according to my "what to expect..." application, he or she is now the size of a lemon. We were the size of a peach last week. Is it just me, or aren't peaches bigger than lemons? I had a small scare last week, one that many pregnant women experience, but nothing really prepares you for it. For the first time, I had a tiny bit of spotting. Nothing major, nothing that was bright red in nature. Very small amount, but my heart nearly stopped. I did call my OB's office, and the Dr. Himself called me back, he was awesome. He told me it was "probably nothing", then said I could come in and he would check me, just to be safe. So I of course, went, and everything was very fine. I rested, slept, and the spotting went away. No harm, no foul. I read later that it is common to spot in the 12th week, and its a big placenta development week apparently, and we can actually develop a small hematoma (bruise like thing) at the bottom of the placenta that will not hurt either the placenta or the baby. But it was probably something like that which caused my little spotting.

Whew.

See what you learn on this blog?

We decided also that we would have an amniocentesis performed. The reasons for this are many, and good reasons, and my Dr. is sending me to a Dr. who is rated #1 in California at doing these procedures. The same doctor did my middle sister's amnio with her third child, and she swears he is very gifted and she barely felt it. Yes, I am scared of it. I hate needles. But the information we can gather is very important. Least of all, we will find out the gender of our little Hun. Mid February is when I will have it...

So, I have five days off, my sick symptoms are spacing out, and my appetite is slowly returning. I still don't eat a whole lot, but what I do eat, I make it count. The rest of today is looking pretty good.....

Mini rant

Last night we decided to go get some Chinese Food.

We have a place locally we like to go, where the waiter (David) knows our name, what we (usually) like to order, and remembers even what our rice and soup preferences are.

Last night being Friday night, it was rather busy. After we sat and ordered, a rather large-ish table was sat at a round table that was only a few feet from us. They appeared to be family, and as more of them trickled in and sat down, their (loud) conversation got worse, worse, and worse.

As our food arrived, they were loudly perusing the menu, and discussing certain things like whether or not glass eyeballs were removable, surgeries, and Sh*t. Sh*t in meat, to be exact. While we were eating potstickers.

They proceeded to get more, and more obnoxious in this full restaurant, and when they had decided what they were going to eat, the older woman of the group began to shrilly shriek for David, by name. Obviously neither noticing, nor caring that David was taking care of multiple other tables. Meanwhile, the two sullen teenage boys of the group were busy backtalking their parents.

Poor David finally got to the shrieker, who proceeded to scold him "Where were you? What took you so long?"

"Uh, its Friday night in a busy Chinese restaurant, you old hag" is what I would have answered.

David, being a touch more diplomatic than I, just kind of laughed her off and gently pointed out the busy-ness of the place. She was not deterred, and proceeded to order for the entire table, instructing David, and each other person in how their meal was to be served, and what veggies to leave out or not, ect.

Thankfully, we were pretty much ready to leave at this point, being as MG and I had a hard time eating around all their inappropriate dinner talk of surgeries, eyeballs and Sh*t. Since MM can't hear out of one of his ears, he was lucky enough to have missed most of their verbal diarrhea. They were loud enough that he caught some of it, though.

As we left, I paused, next to their table, very, VERY tempted to loudly thank them for ruining what had started out as a nice dinner for us, with their disregard for every other patron within a 20 foot viscinity of their vile conversations.

One thing stopped me. Well, maybe two. There were kids at the table, and I tend to not be a bitch to other peoples children,

and, had I gone off on them, it would have just drawn more attention to their already obnoxious table, and then they would have spent the next 10 minutes trashing me, and taking it out on poor David, who was stuck with them. They would not have even thought that their conversations, or behaviors were inappropriate for a small, family dining restaurant.

So I left, quietly.

I hope to never see them again, though, or I may not be able to hold my tongue..

the list goes on and on and on and on and on.....

I am a sleeper.

I adore sleeping. I'm guessing most of you know that, and are laughing hysterically over the fact that my future now holds a tiny, squalling sleep preventer. I am so aware of that.

Anyhow.

One of the first signs that something (ie, pregnancy), was going on with me, was that suddenly, on my nights off, every night off, I was awake, at 4 am. (sometimes earlier). So awake, that I'd eventually get up, and wander out to the living room for awhile to read, watch some TV, or stew over the fact that I wasn't sleeping.

This hasn't changed. I am usually up, and eating, somewhere between 4 am and 5, daily. People, I used to sleep in until 9 am, AT LEAST. I can't remember anymore the last time I was in bed at 9 am. (unless I've worked the night before).

So, I have these early morning hours, when the only noise in the house is my babbling fish tank. This is the time of day I feel best. So I eat as many healthy things as I can, drink some juice, and entertain myself, trying to be quiet for the others. Sometimes succeeding, sometimes not.

Yesterday, I chose to start perusing the internets, looking at baby furniture.

Now please recall, when we bought our home, we chose a 2 bedroom. Because, there was us, and MG, and its all we needed.

I love this house. Its just right for us, and I still think it is. We are not moving.

But

the baby will be sharing a room with us. (which, initially, it would have been anyhow, even if I HAD another room.).

This means, simply, that we re arrange our bedroom slightly, get rid of one LONG dresser that takes up too much space, and get a tall one instead, and put in only the needed necessities for the baby.

So why, then, when I start looking for said necessities, do I end up completely overwhelmed and freaked out?

Because these people, the peddlers of baby "stuff" want to make money, and convince us all that this tiny human being needs a shitload of furniture!

Seriously! If one buys all this 'stuff' they think we should have, the baby will have more furniture in the house than the other three of us, combined!

Yes, okay. Some of it would come in 'handy', for a few months. But is it all really necessary?

I think not.

And then there is the aspect of how fast the babies simply outgrow their 'stuff'. Leaving me with this barely used equipment. Like the bassinette. I am reading that they are only for the first 3 months...

So why bother? It boggles my mind. Sure, they are cute, and you can put it right next to the bed, or wheel it out to the living room ect. ect. But a simple crib, that the baby can sleep in for a few years, is just as good! And there are countless other things. Things that made my brain go splat!

In the end, I closed the laptop, and crawled back into bed, trying to get the visions of cradles, bassinettes, cribs, changing tables, laundry hampers, diaper genies, dressers, lamps, mobiles, rocking chairs, bouncy chairs, slings, boppy pillows and more out of my head. It wasn't easy.

Yes, we will end up with many of those things on the list. I actually WANT some of those things on the list.

But I need to get into a clear frame of mind to process, and imagine and plan what is needed, versus what is wanted....

something tells me this is going to be an interesting few months...

To Widgit or not to Widgit, and other stuff

You know those blogs of people having babies?

They have this widgit in their sidebars, that show this revolving baby, with a countdown. It looks kind of strange to me when I look at them....

do you few readers want a revolving baby widgit?

I am trying not to make this a baby blog, because that wasn't what it was. It really is just some sort of chronicle of what is going on with me.

Yes, right now, baby is what is going on with me, but there are other things, too. Like my Jeep needs a new starter and left me stranded at work the other day.

Like MG is SIXTEEN, and a Junior in high school (eeek!)

Like, MM is now starting training to run a 5 or 10 k. Something. He is running. Which is great. Someone has to chase the baby.

The baby.

Had a doctors appt. yesterday, that was kind of fun. I picked anOB who has been in practice for the last 32 years. He is very nice, very capable, and won't retire on me before the baby. I like experienced doctors. We did the full work up yesterday, the dreaded pap smear and all. He was very gentle with me, I didn't even feel the exam, which was awesome.

Best of all, of course, was we got to have the sonogram. He checked and measured and showed us things, like the brain, the face, all the arms and legs, the beating heart. Everything looks the way it should. MM and I were both enthralled by the little screen, of course. The doctor gave us three pictures of the little tyke to bring home with us so we could show MG her sibling. She is still hoping for a boy :)

See, this post ended up being a baby post after all...

For Cami Kaos, and K!

Now I’ll sing my song
To make the snow come down
And I’ll do my snow dance
Whoops! I almost lost my pants
I’ll holler and yell,
And really give it---

It’s Heikki’s snow dance song,
Heikki’s snow dance song

We gotta have some snow by the 4th of December
“Heikki Lunta, make it snow!” say all the Range Club members
The races are only three weeks away
And if I don’t make it snow, I’ll go back to making hay

It’s Heikki Lunta’s snow dance song,
Heikki Lunta’s snow dance song.

Heikki Lunta is in charge of the snow, myth has it that if you sing this song and do the dance that you will get your snow!

Snow, snow, snow!

Now I’ll dance some more,
And I’ll really know the score
How to make it snow,
Come on, man, go, go, go!
Don’t even slow down
till the snow starts falling down

It’s Heikki Lunta’s snow dance song,
Heikki Lunta’s snow dance song.

Snow, snow, come on, snow!

scattered brain cells

I had this really weird thought the other day. I know, me and weird thoughts, what's so new about that?

Nothing really. But none the less, here is the thought I had.

I wonder, do we somehow choose our own parents?

Deep, right?

Too deep for how my brain is working lately, so rather than sit and try to peruse this question, my brain went into another direction.

What if we could, with some concious knowledge, choose who was going to raise us?

And then for some reason I started considering what life would have been like had Julia Child been my mother.

(Yes, I have recently re watched the movie "Julie and Julia".)

And now?

I am watching a show about the supposed Worst Cooks in America.

What are you doing?

This may be TMI for some people..

but I am going to blog about it, anyhow, so I can look back later and laugh at myself. (It should be noted here that none of this post is meant to be complaint, just observation. I am still feeling lucky and blessed...)

The first trimester of pregnancy isn't for sissies.

Not that I expected it to be. I didn't really have any expectations for it, to be honest. As I mentioned, it was completely unexpected...

My body, though, has changed the rules on me, without really filling me in on what those rules are.

Things that used to take me no time at all now take me days, if they even get done.

My breasts have taken on a life of their own. It would be great if they weren't so tender all the time. I already can't lay on my stomach.

We won't even discuss the reality of constipation, or pre-natal vitamins.

A day that I can get away without vomiting is now a good day. It doesn't happen often.

I can't even get within 3 feet of the butcher counter at my favorite grocery store, because the sight and smell of raw meat brings me to my knees. Once it's cooked? I'm kind of okay. I can't even look at raw meat on the television anymore. And the smells at work? Oh, yeah... I've been the really fun nurse to work around lately...

My sleep patterns are way off. Some days I sleep constantly. Some days, like today, I am up at 0400, eating something, and attempting to blog. (This is the second version of this post, actually).

My eating patterns have been destroyed, as well. Which is actually all the better for me. I eat much less, but much more intelligently.

I am however, sad that I can't eat sushi, bleu cheese anything, brie, or any soft cheeses for awhile. Willing to forgo them, but sad. I like those things. Every day I kind of discover new things that aren't recommended for pregnant women to eat. Thankfully, Peanut Butter is fine. Because I am a peanut butter eating fool these days.

If I can go 3 hours without needing to pee I feel liberated. That doesn't happen often.

And the decisions they want you to make! When your brain is barely functioning! All these prenatal screening things, testing the baby for everything under the sun. Amniocentesis, blood work, ect. They drew NINE vials of blood just for a standard prenatal panel! And they wonder why pregnant women become anemic. Ha! And the fears that go with all those tests. I just can't think that way. This baby will be healthy! It WILL.

The mood swings are awesome, too. Though I am usually more prone to crying then anger, I still manage both on occasion.

So, what a roller coaster. I have about 6 weeks left of the first trimester, give or take. The first sonogram is in a few weeks, where we can take measurements and figure out a little better exactly how far along I am. If I am counting correctly, I am in my 8th week, now. The baby is the size of a green olive, apparently......