Searching for a well

I'll preface this by stating (what I hope is) obvious. I love my son. I cannot imagine life without him, nor do I want to.

     But there are days when I think I'm just going to lose my shit. And now that he's 2? It's happening more often. He's so physical. Pulling, bouncing, touching, throwing things. Constantly. Sneezes on me, wipes dirty hands on me, dumps juice, water, cereal, what have you, everywhere.
     I know. I KNOW. This is what they do. And most of the time, I can roll with it. I get it. He's learning. He needs to touch, feel, explore. He needs to be told what's wrong, what's right. And he's a smart little booger. So he gets it.
    But me. What about me? (She whines selfishly). I have days where I have no patience for this. I don't want to be a mean snarky Mama, but geez!!! How much pizza sauce do I have to wear!!!! I close my eyes, and imagine a deep blue well of patience. And I need to draw up another bucket before the rope snaps. And some times that rope gets pretty frayed.
     His hours at the pre school do help. I miss him during that time, but I also get some personal space. I've had very little personal space, lately. I'm wondering if I should start picking one or 2 days a month to send him to pre school for a few hours on my day off. So I can have a whole afternoon without any demand, work or kid. Will I feel guilty doing that? Probably. Especially the first time. I'm guessing and hoping it will help me replenish my well, though.
I'm open to any other ideas and suggestions though.
Or you can tell me to shut it and suck it up..,

Im exhausted!!!

     We are at that time in our life where MB is now on high alert, full run do not walk fun. So what to do for his second birthday? Epic trip, of course!

He and I spent Sunday-Thurs. am at my parents house, staying with my grandmother (his "Nana-2") so that my parents could go off on a much needed 50th wedding anniversary trip. For him, that was fun in itself. He got to terrorize Nana's cat, try to wreak Nana's house, and spend a day being spoiled by one of his Auntie's.
     MM and MG joined us Thurs. am, and we departed onto the beginning of his birthday extravaganza. We made our way to SF, where we checked into our hotel, which was across the street from the SF Zoo, and less than a 5 minute walk to Ocean Beach. On Thursday evening, we walked down to the beach and MB saw the ocean for the first time. He is very much not afraid of it. He let the waves lap at his toes, and ran both towards the water, and away. Laughing the whole time. I'm glad. I don't want him to be afraid of it. Exercise caution, YES. Be afraid? No. I love the ocean and beaches. I want him to, as well.
     Friday, his actual second birthday, we loaded up the stroller, and tackled the SF Zoo. What a place! I wish I could tell you he was enamored of all the animals and was amazed by all he saw. But I won't lie. He liked it, but, it might have been too much. When he was out of the stroller he was running around like a crazy man, not looking at much beyond the seagulls. When he was in the stroller? He was eating chex mix. He did like the Prarie Dogs, and he liked the little kid petting zoo area. The rest of it? Meh. But the rest of us enjoyed the Zoo, and all it had to offer. Except the Sea Gulls. Some poor little boy dropped his sandwich at lunch? And it was a blood bath. Scared the crap out of me. Those birds are horrible.
     After the post Zoo nap, we took him to the Rainforest Cafe on Fisherman's Wharf for dinner. Once there, he was actually enamored of the fish tanks. They had wonderful fish tanks at this particular restaurant. He was also very enamored of the cupcake he was given. Not so sure of the people singing at him, though.
      Saturday found us getting out of SF, and headed towards Bodega Bay. We stopped on the way at a restaurant recommended by my best friend, and had some incredible Italian Food, made for us by Nonna, herself. Yum! MB could not slurp the Spaghetti fast enough. After that, we went to the Nicholas Greene memorial. You may remember Nicholas. He was killed in Italy (drive by shooting) and donated his organs in Europe. In thanks and remembrance, a memorial was built, using bells that were sent from all over Italy. Its a beautiful memorial out in a place I think hardly anyone gets to. Im so glad we went. MB tried to collect rocks and other small things constantly there, and was NOT amused when we prevented him from just doing as he pleased.
     From there, we drove to our hotel in Santa Rosa, played in the pool, had a less than memorable dinner, then went to bed. The next day, we visited the Charles M. Schultz museum, which was amazing. We had breakfast at the Warm Puppy Cafe, where we watched part of a figure skating competition, before we saw the museum. We saw classic strips, Sparky's drawing desk, the Snoopy labyrinth, and a bunch of fun stuff. Then, we headed home.
All told, we travelled over 800 miles from Thurs- Sun. MB turned 2, and we celebrated every minute of it.
Im still in recovery mode......