The Plunge

Since I returned to work after my extended leave, (both maternity, and RA leave)
things have been different.
I felt like a round peg being forced into a square hole.
No matter what I did, or didn't do. It just didn't feel right. It didn't feel comfortable.
My co workers, for the most part, were great. Don't get me wrong. But they had 8 months of history now that I wasn't a part of. Including a new director of the unit.
I missed A LOT.
A lot of changes. And?
It impacted things.
The gist of this is.....
due to many things..... and a few people.......
I've left my job
Pick yourselves up off the floor.....
I'm getting another.
But I'm going to get one that I FIT in. One that makes me happy. One where I can have some job satisfaction. Which, frankly?
I haven't really had in awhile.
Friday, I am interviewing at a place that would be my DREAM job.
It's a Hospice facility.
Keep your fingers crossed for me, huh?
Because being unemployed is kind of scary...
I haven't been jobless in 20 years......

But its going to be all good.....

Happy

I've been spending a lot of time, lately, both with Mustang Boy, and thinking about MB. And other children, too. I'm noticing, that for the most part, they are pure joy.

This is what I mean.

Unless he's super hungry, or doesn't feel good, my kid wakes up, see's me, and gets that big, goofy baby grin on his face. He smiles and laughs through most of his day. He smiles for just about everyone that crosses his path, and especially if they'll make a funny face at him.

When he's in his "command module", he explores, plays, watches a little television if it's on, and has a good time, until he's tired, or hungry, and ready to be liberated.

Sure, he has his cranky days. We recently survived his first winter cold. (Me having the same cold at the same time made that quite a challenge).

But, for the most part, he is so happy.

So

What's wrong with us?

Are WE that happy? And if we aren't, WHY?

I know. I know. We grow up. The weight of the world comes down on us. The economy. Supporting ourselves and our families. Bills. Jobs.

Blah blah. The list goes on, as we adults are well aware of.

But I contend that we CAN be, and should be happy, like the babies are happy. And spread that joy.

So, I'm going to be doing that, or, rather doing the best I can to do that. To start each day with a smile on my face, and happiness in my heart.

Just like my son :)

frustration

Its hard for me to admit, but,

I'm frustrated.

Not all the time. Not even 50% of the time. But time.

MB has entered this phase where when he wants ANYTHING, no matter how major, (like food) or minor (a position change) he squeals and hollers like a howler monkey.

Doesn't matter what time it is. 5:30 am, or noon. He just goes from 0-60 in less than 2 seconds. And if it doesn't happen quickly enough?

Look out.

Boy has a temper.

He is also still cute, laughing and babbling, but the howler monkey?

Ugh!

I'm sure what's not helping is that both he and I have a head cold. I think thats why he has woken us up before 4 am every day this week with his howler monkey demonstration. He feels like crap and wants to be on one of our chests instead of anywhere else.

I've had my hair pulled, my eyes poked, little fingers that try to go up my nose and in my mouth. I'm covered in spit up and snot. (his, and mine, sadly).

I know, I know. I signed on for this. I'm the Mama.

I love him like crazy

but the howling has to stop....

Lets Review, shall we?

As I sit back and look at 2011, my mind is just kind of boggled.

Seriously. I kind of feel like I really hit the bucket list jackpot, somehow. Except, some of the things that happened weren't necessarily on my bucket list?

This year I have maintained a pregnancy, and NATURALLY given birth to a healthy baby, (the intrathecal that never happened WOULD have been on my bucket list...)

In doing that, I've survived 2 separate hospitalizations, one for my back, one for the baby :)

I finally, with the help of 2 good MD's, figured out WHAT was going on with me, causing pain and misery. Sure, being diagnosed with RA wasn't really what I wanted to happen, but, I know how to treat and deal with it, and am doing so much better than I was!

My family is thriving, the baby is growing more every day, and MG is doing well.

AND last but not least

for a beautiful Christmas morning surprise, MM asked me to be his wife.

(and I OF COURSE said Yes :)

So my year has been stellar, really, and I know that 2012 is going to follow suit....

Happy New Year Everyone.....