Happy Memorial Weekend

Now, go thank a Veteran, or five :)

here, fish fish fish....

Most of you know that MM and I keep fish tanks in the house. And that this winter was very very hard on said fish tanks.

Truth be told, I think we both kind of lost our fishy mojo for awhile because of all the fish death that occured around those power outages. I took a few chances, and got a couple fish a few times for the big tank, but the power would go out again, and the new fish always died. So, I stopped.

We still have our hearty survivors, the loaches, the cories, the four gourami, a frog. So there is life, in my big tank, at least. Unfortunately, there is also a mess, the tank needs to have all its decor taken out, it's air hoses exchanged, and a partial water change done. I have not had the gumption to do any of that. And we won't even discuss how bad the salt water tank is right now...

We did, however, finally square away our Betta tank, and get a new inhabitant for it. MM named him "Nimitz", after a famous Admiral in the Navy.

He's a beautiful fish, dark blue, with a black face, and 2 red underfins.

He's also dumb as a post.

I have NEVER seen a fish like this poor guy....

nightly, when MM feeds him, he has to show the fish where the food is, by leading him to it with his finger.

This fish hangs out on the side of his tank, where he can see himself, and tries to flare up and fight with his own reflection. I've had to turn the lights off in his tank so that he doesn't do this for HOURS at a time, and hurt himself.

We are hoping he is just a young Betta, and that as he matures, this will pass.

But it's a good thing he's pretty....

doing this damn thing almost killed my brain....

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? Right palm. Carpal Tunnel Surgery
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR BEDROOM? one framed photo, a small shelf, with a crucifix and a picture that I've had in my room since I was an infant
3. WHAT DOES YOUR MOBILE PHONE LOOK LIKE? like everyone elses. But cooler.
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? Anything but rap, and Kidz Bop crap. And NO, that will not change...
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? I've been told at 1:30 in the afternoon
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? for it to be August, and all the baby stuff done :)
7. WHO DO YOU MISS? I actually miss a few people at work, believe it or not...
8. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU OR HAS A CRUSH ON YOU?
9. They better be!
10. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED? Mustang Man.
11. WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Scott
12. THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED? Wide World of Disney. I loved watching that...
13. THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO? Mustang Boy. He and I have this ongoing conversation. He responds by morse code...
14. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? No…
15. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?. My hormones. Seriously. I cry so easily right now that its embarrassing.
16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME? anything, as long as it doesn't smell up the air that is 20 feet around it. I really don't have a preference.
17. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? All kinds, as long as their hair isn't so sloppy I can't see their eyes
18. WOULD YOU RATHER BE SMART OR FUNNY? Smart.
19. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS? Coffee.
20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIZZA TOPPING? mozzerella and basil
21. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? mozzerella and basil pizza
22. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU MAD? Any driver in my viscinity the other night
23. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE? Nope
24. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU? dunno.... fertilization?
25. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE? as in LIKE like? Totally!
26. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? No.
27. FAVOURITE CLOTHING BRAND? comfortable
28. WHAT’S YOUR DREAM CAR? I want to have a T bird one day
29. WHAT COLOUR IS IT? Still considering
30. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE KIND OF EXERCISE? Sleeping
31. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? Aren't we ALL leaving, eventually?
32. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? Actions speak louder than words. Show them, every day
33. WRITE A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED? 99
34. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Brunettes
35. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN? I really don't
36. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? stupid drivers who risk my life when they drive
37. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR COUNTRY? WHERE DID YOU GO? WHAT PLACE DID YOU LIKE BEST? Oh hell. Yes I have, in the Navy. But I have to go with a tie, Paris, France, and Yokosuka, Japan...
38. YOUR WEAKNESSES? Procrastination. Gets me every time
39. FRIES/CHIPS, RICE, OR BEANS? Fries
40. FIRST JOB?.Worked in a landromat
41. EVER PRANK CALLED SOMEONE? Yes.
42. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS? IM'ing with MM
43. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?None.
44. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS MEME? Because all the other cool kids were doing it and I hate being left out
45. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? My youthful appearance.
46. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL? I'd be fine, actually, I'd miss it, but I'd be fine.
47. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? A day with no snow
48. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? I want the two that I have. We are done after Mustang Boy
49. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My Grandparents last name is my middle name
50. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Yes
51. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVOURITE? all of them, because they are working
52. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Ice cream
53. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Sometimes
54. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey
55. ANY BAD HABITS? Procrastination
56. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF? "I Need Love" LL Cool J...
57. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? yes, I like myself
58. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL? More than likely. But I am not telling.
59. DO LOOKS MATTER? Depends on what I am looking at
60. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER? In torrents of hot flaming lava
61. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? Somewhere else
62. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY? Depends on what kind of vibe I get from them. Yes, seriously, my first impression of people will make or break them with me
63. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE TOY AS A CHILD? Light Bright
64. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR MOBILE PHONE? Never counted
65. DO YOU USE SARCASM? or does it use me?
66. DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS? not really
67. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT? No
68. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A PLACE TO LIVE? I look for home
69. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? depends on who is addressing me
70. HOW MANY HATS DO YOU OWN? WHAT’S YOUR HAT SIZE? Hell if I know.
71. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?No.
72. WERE YOU UPSET ABOUT STEVE IRWIN DYING? It was sad, but I didn't know him personally...
73. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Rainbow Sherbet
74. ARE YOU LAZY? Yes.
75. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS AT THE MOMENT? This question is too hard. I like too many
76. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BAND? The E Street Band
77. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE? None.
78. DO YOU WANT TO GO ANYWHERE SPECIAL THIS YEAR? Yes.
79. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? A fish tank filter that needs some water added to it. Damn it.
80. LAST THING YOU ATE? Hasn't changed since a few minutes ago
81. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? uh... probably MM, I don't use the phone very often
82. WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE MORNING? That its getting harder and harder to roll out of bed
83. FAVOURITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG? What if God Was One of Us
84. FAVOURITE TWO THINGS TO HATE? Hatred and stupidity
85. FAVOURITE DRINK? Water
86. FAVOURITE ZODIAC SIGN? Pisces
87. SPORTS YOU LIKE TO WATCH? Football, and if its live, Hockey
88. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOUR? depends on the day...
89. EYE COLOUR? Blue/green
90. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES? no
91. SIBLINGS? Yes
92. FAVOURITE MONTH(s)? October, for some reason. I love fall
93. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI? Yes
94. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? Bubbles blowing in the damn fish tank
95. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? is TBD
96. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Not really
97. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter…
98. KISSES OR HUGS? Combination of both please
99. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE-NIGHT STANDS? Relationship every time
100. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE CELEBRITY? None of them
101. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ASK YOU ON A DATE? my mother
102. BOOKS YOU’D LIKE TO SEE TURNED INTO A FILM The Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon

The art of sitting and being quiet

The weather did, indeed, turn foul, and on Sunday, it decided to gift us with some more snow. Thankfully, not much fell, and its been followed up with some mere rain, so it's mostly gone....

The weekend was good, I felt pretty good, and even managed to go see a movie with Mustang Man, and MG, on Sunday. We went and saw 'Thor'. It was pretty good, but the loudness of it startled Mustang Boy a few times.

But, I think we are in the midst of another growth spurt right now. I can tell, because all my joints and ligaments start to ache, from extra relaxin being released into my system. It makes everything loose! Then, coupled with the cold weather... oy....

Mustang Boy also gets a little quieter when he is concentrating on growing. He still moves, but not as much, because I think he is using his energy to grow bigger, like he should be!

So, I am being a good girl, and not doing a whole lot right now, because where there is relaxin, and things growing and getting bigger, there is room for pain and inflammation if I do something I shouldn't. So I am being schooled in the art of patience, in doing what I can, and accepting that there are some things that won't get done today. Or maybe even tomorrow. But they will get done.

So, I am sitting in my chair, watching "How To Train a Dragon", and watching the rain fall outside, while Mustang Boy leisurely kicks at the laptop, because he hates it when I have it near him, I think...

lets try this again

Some of you got to see yesterdays post, before Blogger ate it, somehow. Its all good, I can add some more information, anyhow :)

at the risk of cursing myself, I've been home for over a week now, and the pain is much, MUCH improved. I very seldom need to take anything for it, and it's usually just a plain Tylenol, unless I get too worried that the pain is going to escalate, then, I do what I need to do and take the prescribed pill. The pain pill thankfully does not seem to slow the baby down at all, he is very active. But it makes ME feel like I am kind of under water for awhile. I don't really like that....

Yesterday, we had a sonogram to check Mustang Boy out, size wise. I am so happy with the results of it. He is right on the money for his gestational age, everything looked great, we saw his heart, his brain, his bones, his face, and the OB gave MM a really distinct picture of the twig and berries, which cracked me up. Those have developed on track, as well :). He weighs about 2 lbs, 8 oz. according to the measurements. They also set my delivery date back by one WHOLE day. Ha ha. July 31st. But I know Mustang Boy will come at his own will, when he chooses to.

We are supposed to get a week of rain, starting tomorrow, which I don't really mind, but now, they are predicting the possibility of more of the other stuff that I refuse to even consider. It better not.....

at the risk of cursing myself...

Its been a week now, since I've gotten out of the hospital, and things are good. I spent a few nights getting up and down to my chair and the bed to sleep, but am now back to resting semi comfortably in our bed, all night. The farther along I get the harder turning gets, though, plus Mustang Boy is a night time mover and shaker. When I turn, so does he, and he elbows me everywhere to find HIS comfortable spot. Then I laugh, because frankly? I just like feeling him move.

My injury is calming down, I am being very careful with my activities and body mechanics. I have not needed to take a pain pill in many days, which makes me feel better about the situation. I am using regular Tylenol. I WILL take the pain pill before I go through the hell of last week again, though, no one wants that.

Mustang Girl finally got to feel her brother kick the other night. The only other time she tried, he stopped kicking the minute she put her hand on my belly. He already torments her, silly kid.

Today, we are having a sonogram this afternoon, to check out his size. I am really looking forward to seeing him on the screen again. MM and MG are going to the appointment with me, and I am not ashamed to admit I will probably cry while we are all there, looking at him. Hell, I am about to cry now! (Hormones, anyone?)

We have had some BEAUTIFUL weather, but the weekend is supposed to be cold and rainy. Rain for 5 days, actually. I don't mind the rain, as long as we don't get that other thing that shall not be mentioned kind of precipitation....

If we get some good Mustang Boy sono pictures I will share....

Famous Last Words

You know how when you feel better, you get all happy, and optimistic, and, well, you more than likely do to much?

Yeah.

I felt really good Monday, and went about, doing the stuff I was "supposed" to be doing. First, to the Chiro, for a follow up. He did a few things, nothing major, mainly to my shoulder, and knees. We discussed my possibility of relapse. He said High.

Next, to the hospital, to drop off some needed paperwork, and ask some important questions. Mission accomplished, I came home. Being a good girl the whole time, and using my trusted Milk crate, Bessie, to climb up carefully into the Jeep.

That afternoon, I had a very short physical therapy appointment, where the kind PT did the massage, and ice. Oh, and he kind of pulled on my legs, a little, until I stopped that because, well, I felt a tugging sensation near my groin area.

I came home. Was doing fine. Did a happy blog post. Made dinner, just BLT's, nothing earth shattering.

Here, is where it gets ugly. I almost didn't even blog this, but, I am, because, this is a record of MY life, including the bad.

Let me just start by reporting that both Mustang Boy and I are fine, now. Remember that important fact as you read on.

I went to bed, as usual Monday night. Sore, but sleepy. About eleven PM, I noticed I was tossing and trying to turn a lot to find a comfortable spot. That pain in my right hip was (ever) present. So I decided to get up and ice it for awhile, and chill in my big chair. Except.

I could not find a way to get comfortable, in my big chair.

The ice, it wasn't helping.

By midnight, I was trying to convince myself I was okay, that it wasn't as bad as it had been. By 2 am I was waking up MM, distraught, because it was WORSE than it had been. By 4 am? I was in the Emergency room. After a very hard climb into the Jeep, and painful but brief Jeep ride.

Once in the ER, they kind of half assed tried to help me. I got a few pain shots that did nothing to help me. I was too far gone. I rolled around, hurting, until about 7 am, when they decided to discharge me, and send me to the OB department, to be evaluated. Basically, they hurredly turfed off a now crying, nearly incoherant pregnant woman to the OB department, in severe pain. Needless to say they were horrified. They quickly determined I was having no contractions (thank God, I thought the pain was going to put me into labor). They checked Mustang Boy's heart rate, it was good, normal, galloping along. But Me?

NOT GOOD

I have never been in a more dark, agonizing place in my life, than my own body at that time. I could hear myself whimpering, crying, and eventually begging. MM was by my side, but unable to really do much beyond comfort me as well as he could. We even tried guided imagery. The OB nurses were beside themselves, getting ahold of my MD, who was in surgery. He did make it in to see me, and I could hear the horror and anger in his voice, as he looked at me and asked "how long has THIS been going on?"

All I could do was cry. MM answered him, and then I heard him announce.

"We are going to admit you, and put you on a dilaudid drip".

Then?

I really lost it. Because what my tortured, pained incoherant brain heard was

"you suck as a mother, and we are going to sedate the shit out of you and your baby".

Of course, that isn't what was said or meant, but I felt like super failure of a lifetime. Why was this happening to me?

So I lose my shit. Big time. I roll over, and just sob and cry like someone who just lost their birthday. And their mind. People were talking quietly around me, but I was beyond hearing what they were saying.

Eventually, I pulled the edges together the best I could. I told this poor nurse what shitty veins I had, and where she could put my IV. She was so freaking nice. She gave me a pain shot, put numbing cream on my arm, then proceeded to start my IV right where I told her to. It sucks when you have a nurse as a patient. She bore it well.

Then, she started giving me the dripped in pain medication. Part of me wanted to sigh in sweet relief, the other part of me wanted to be better, to say NO! and suck up what I OBVIOUSLY could not suck up.

The part of me that needed relief won.

I started to feel better. The pain decreased. I started to make sense of things. To rationalize. Yes. Mustang Boy was going to have to deal with some sedation. We would monitor him. Its better for him to deal with sedation, than early labor and birth, which is where I firmly believe I was headed, without getting any pain medicine. My body was in extreme rebellion.

So I stayed, in the hospital. For two days. I got home a few hours ago. I was on the pain medication drip for about 24 hours. It was the kind where I pushed the button when I had the pain. I did use it. I was careful. We monitored the boy, he had a great heart rate the entire time. He moved, but not as vigorously as he usually does. The paperwork to take me completely off work was started. I won't go back until after he is born, for sure, now. Eventually, I was changed to oral pain medications.

Am I still in pain?

Yes, I have some. Finding a comfortable spot to lay in or even sit in can be tough. But it isn't severe, mind numbing, body stealing pain. It's pain I can deal with.

Are the oral pain medications great for my boy?

Not especially, but they aren't horrible, either, and they are a mild dose. He is moving like crazy, just as strong as he was before the dilaudid drip. I heard his heart beat before I was discharged. It was beautiful and strong. Despite my falling apart, he is maintained. And he will be.

And I?

Will be severely limiting any activities over the next months. Doing even a HINT of too much will inflame my sacro-iliac ligament and joint beyond recognition. I know my limits. I've learned a lot about proper body mechanics, and what I need to do to maintain them.

MM, and MG have been troopers. I couldn't ask for better. Middle sister showed up and sat with me as well that first day, as I made myself stay awake, so that I'd sleep all night, despite the pain drip. She thought I looked like a stroke victim. She was right.

And so I limp gratefully around my home, glad to be here. Showered so I didn't smell like a hospital anymore, and am doing my best to relax in my chair. Mustang boy is poking at me, for having a computer in my lap. Mustang Girl is in her usual pose, parked in front of her computer and phone. Mustang Man will be home from work as soon as he can.

All is good (ish).

better (ish) now

Well, things are smoothing out for me. I can walk without crying now, can mostly sleep in our bed again, and am able to do a few things around the house that make me feel productive. That helped my mental health. Plus, I was able to go in the hammock some this weekend, which was SWEET. I do still have pain issues, but they are at least improved, and I know what to do when I am having a flare up of pain. (ice, ice, baby)

As far as work, well, the general consensus amongst the people that are providing my care is that I not go back, until after Mustang Boy is born. My risk for re-injury is high, and if I get hurt on top of this hurt the recovery will be longer, and I will be trying to recover AND take care of a baby at the same time. So, unless my OB objects, which I highly doubt, then I am off work.... and I will still have a 'normal' maternity leave, too.

Mustang Boy is doing great. He moves and rolls and pokes and makes his presence known. He must not have liked being put on that monitor last week, so he makes sure that I know he is there. I like that. I am really looking forward to him making his appearance, when it is time. Meanwhile, next Friday we are having another sonogram so I can get a look at him. He'll probably be doing his circus tricks as usual.

So things are brighter, now. The sun is out, the bugs are flying, a few of my daffodils decided to bloom. It will be a good spring