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Monday, July 7, 2014

what to do, what to do

I realize my blog is barely limping along, and I am probably the only one reading at this point, but so much of the good of the last 8 years of my life is located here, so I am not going to just throw that away. Maybe someday I will print it, put it in a 3 ring binder, and move on. Until then, its just going to take up its sliver of space in the interwebs.
my what to do conundrum comes from finding myself with actual TIME.
MB is three years old, and, much to my delight, (and MM's, too), very bright and curious. Because we have no other kids, (nor will we, besides MG, who does not reside with us), we are at the point where MB needs, and deserves, to be spending time around his own age group, learning, playing, and growing. So, he now goes to a preschool, all day, 2 days a week. Today being the first day. He has been going to this preschool, but just a few afternoons, before I went to work. So, he's not unfamiliar with the kids, teachers, or concept. Its just now an all day event.
The irony of this, is that I am now home, full time. My RA has just got me so spun right now. The stress of every thing just did me in. The meds aren't working as well as we'd hoped, and my rheumatologist made the decision that I will be off any kind of work for AT LEAST four months,  but in all probability, permanently. So here I am, free as a bird..a handicapped bird, but none the less. For 2 full days a week, I am off on my own. Which, hasn't happened since I was pregnant. (and technically, he was even with me then...). I had no trouble filling my time before MB. And as I look around our house, I see, easily, a million things I COULD do. probably SHOULD do. And WILL do, just in my own time. I also have a responsibility to myself to rediscover what down time really feels like again. To go out on a walk with my camera, or fall asleep in the hammock. Or go somewhere that isn't my chair, and read a book. I know to do these things, but my brain. I've kind of forgotten HOW to do them. But, I am sure I will figure it out.. its like riding a bike, right?

1 comments:

Finding Pam said...

Hang in there with the RA. I am in remission right now. I went to a acupuncturist for a year or so and it went away. Learn to enjoy your life and reclaim it.

It is good for MB to have some time with other kids.